Burn in hell. I hope you get raped everyday in prison.

Popular pediatrician Dr. Earl Bradley has been charged with sexually molesting 103 children at an office he had decked out with a merry-go-round and a ferris wheel, in Delaware, US. Evidence seized from the community medic's practice and home has led state officials to believe he has carried out sickening attacks on scores of small children since 1998. Bradley, 56, has been charged by a grand jury with the molestation of 103 children. He is held at Vaughn Correction Center on $3 million bond. The disturbing accusations stem from incidents which allegedly took place at his Lewes, Delaware, practice called BayBees Pediatrics. He is accused of videotaping sex acts while the children's parents were waiting in another room.

The only true justice would be for this guy to slide down a banister of razor blades into a pool of alcohol while all of the 103 children he molested shoots at him with BB guns. If the government were capable of doing something right, they would either execute this dickhead or cut off his penis with a butter knife.

What we had is dead, as I am dead. Marry another.

Dear Alessandra,

Let me first say, I'm sorry. I know that I have caused you a great deal of pain and suffering through this whole ordeal surrounding me "finding myself". Just last night, I was going through some of our Maui vacation pics and I stumbled across these. I want to remember you like this. Playful, happy and fresh, not spiteful, vendictive and psychotic. I tried to explain to you that I can't have a serious relationship right now. With my job, my responsibilities, I just can't give you what you demand deserve. You're such a scary special person to me. I'll always sleep with one eye open hold a special place in my heart for you, but now it seems, just isn't the right time for our lives to become one. I'm sorry I hurt you. I'm sorry that you don't understand right now. In time though, you will. You will thank me. Someday, you will look back on this raw, explicit, spontaneous, animalistic, love affair and realize that we weren't right for one another. I hope that one day you can forgive me for all the pain I've caused you.

With sorrow and regret,

Always,

Trey-

Biel prepares for the combine...

The NFL Combine starts Wednesday and Jessica Biel got her lineback number and it's 44. In a rarity, Todd McShay and Mel Kiper both agree that if Biel performs well in the 3 cone drill and the 20 yard shuttle, she could sneak into the first round. Some say they've never seen game speed like she exhibits from such a natural hitter. She could be the next Ray Lewis. Go Jessica!

I never saw this coming...

Crystal Magnum, famous for falsely accusing several Duke lacrosse players of rape, is now facing multiple charges for assaulting her boyfriend.
And of course, by assaulting, we mean she threatened to stab him and burned his clothes.

Her bond was set at $1 million. Mangum has been appointed a public defender and is scheduled to appear in court on Feb. 22.

Police charged her with attempted first-degree murder, five counts of arson, assault and battery, communicating threats, three counts of misdemeanor child abuse, injury to personal property, identity theft and resisting a public officer.

To begin, I blame Duke lacrosse players for hiring a stripper this hideous. I was in college. Even in the worst places, even the most hole-in-the-wall strip clubs have one decent stripper. Next, I blame a multitude of people that were looking to ruin the lives of some priviledged educated silver spooned kids based on the fraudulent accusations of a skanky gold-digging stripper. Some people believe in fate...I'm not sure I believe in that, but I am sure someone that shows repeated propensities for illegal behavior, finally got what she deserves. Fulfilling the most ironic story of 2010, it seems as if the book is being thrown at her. In a related story, I couldn't be happier.

Darrell Green

Darrell Green was a speedster corner in the NFL for 20 years. The video below shows him running a 4.2 40 yard dash at 40 years old.



Well, not to be outdone by his former self, Green ran a 4.43 40 on his 50th birthday. I coulnd't run a 4.4 to the refridgerator. Here is the article from the Redskins Insider:

Darrell Green turns 50 with a burst of speed

What's the best way to celebrate turning 50? Stuffing your face full of cake and washing it down with a microbrew? Warning your loved ones not to hug your brittle bones too tightly? Making out a will?

Not if you're Darrell Green, the Redskins' Pro Football Hall of Famer who was known for his energy and age-defying speed (he won the NFL's Fastest Man competition four times) when he played. He turned 50 Monday and, apparently, hasn't lost much of a step since his retirement after the 2002 season.

He told the story of his celebration on Twitter (@darrellgreen28):

Quick update from the Birthday Boy :) I think today I became the fastest 50 year old in the world! @9AM today, I celebrated my 50th BDay.....

By running the 40 yard dash in Orlando, Florida in a time of 4.43! FYI, all born between 1946 -1964 are baby boomers...

I'm guessing that makes me the fastest baby boomer! I would say, thats really booming. Are you?

Lindsay Lohan should be shot for wasting this...

About seven years ago, Lindsay Lohan was tracking to be a superstar. Fast forward through 1000 kilos of blow, three thousand penises, countless miasmas of drunken morning afters and at least 8 cases of, "owww my pee pee burns," and you're left with the weathered, withering shell of a once voluptuous and beautiful sex symbol. After all the shit she's put her body through, the girl can still sell sex when duty calls. Granted, it's been calling for quite some time to no avail, but boy, did she deliver here. When you have natural gifts like these, your career is six feet under, and you are a walking herpes blister, exposing your breasts as often as possible is about your only hope for staying out of financial turmoil and DJ booths. Lindsay, I know a great agent. He gives great career advice. His name is me.

Checkmate.

Im sure that Verizon didn't find this little stunt as funny as I do, but you have to applaud a man's creativity. These are the kind of things that make me wish I were smarter/more clever. Leaving, "What now Bitches?" is probably the funniest thing I've ever seen. If I worked in accounts receivable and I opened this check, it's with absolute certainty that this guy gets his month of phone service for free. Randall, you win.

Damn you magic photos...

There's many reasons why I like supermodels. Namely, because they're sexy and tall. That being said, if I say Hayden Peniterroo Penateirree is sexy, would go against everything I stand for. This is one reason Hollywoo sucks so bad. No matter what you look like, these tricky photographers can use clever angles, flattering lighting, and geeky photoshopping, to make otherwise average looking girls, make me want them. This troll can't be more than 3 feet tall. Regardless, these pics are the best she's ever been and probably ever will be...

Puff Puff Give...

Mischa Barton, took some much needed time off from being chronically unemployed and painfully unsexy, to blaze some spliffs around Hollywood in some 34' Caddy. For Mischa, I guess it's kind of smart to smoke this much pot because when she sobers up, she's gonna be faced with the grim reality that only Lohan is less hireable.

Eyes like the azure sky...

This is exactly why Andy Roddick couldn't give two sh!ts about winning grand slam tennis titles. This is also why he absolutely owns Roger Federer in every possible way that really matters. Much to my delight, Roddick's wife, Brooklyn Decker, is the cover model for this year's SI Swim Suit issue. In a related story, 100 million women just opened another carton of ice cream. Girls this pretty actually cause me physical pain. For instance, today, I spent 9 hours working out Punnet Squares on my computer in an attempt to recreate eyes this blue. The closest I could come was this. If you're looking at this and saying, "That's gross. She's too skinny." I would say to you...actually, I wouldn't say anything to you, but you already knew that.

My head just exploded.

Every estrogen ridden female in the world will celebrate their favorite holiday this week as Valentine's Day rears its ugly head. While all you morons are paying double, even triple the normal price for roses, chocolate, lame ass stuffed animals and stupid strawberries, I'll be boycotting this shit out of this stupid commercially construed celebration of women's desire to be doted on and men's insatiable desire to get laid. To me, February 14 is two things: An indication of how stupid you are is directly proportional to how much overpriced goods you buy and send to your girlfriend's work so she can display to everyone how much she's truly loved. The other thing, is the release of the annual Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue. This part of the holiday is so deep and rewarding. It goes beyond just superficial metaphors of love and admiration. It's a selfless, benevolent, exposed, and forgiving depiction of devotion and partnership. It's love's synergy with mother nature, personified. As you can see, not unlike most issues, this year delivered big time. Ladies, if you want to make your spouse happy, take a picture of yourself and airbrush it until it looks like this. Trust me, he'll be happy.

Abbey Clancy, a photographed coke head, WAG, model, full time rocket, did every guy in the world a favor and sat nude for the ever-rewarding bikini painting/paint-on session. Honestly, if she asked, I would steal 20 kilos of cocaine from Pablo Escobar himself, smuggle it to the United States in my colon, and sell it in PEZ dispensers on the White House lawn for one chance with this chick. If Abbey filled out a US tax form, her W-2 should simply read: Relationship Assassin. She's so pretty, I just conceived.

Im Back!

I lived...barely. I can honestly say that race was the most physically and mentally challenging thing I've ever done. Nothing can prepare you for 34 degree water for over three hours. You shiver so violently that at one point I thought I chipped my teeth. Instead, it was mud and rock in my mouth. If you want to challenge yourself to the extremes the human body can endure, I guess I'll see you next in Wolverhampton.