A Stroll Through Time.

As many of you know, I'm not one for celebrating "thankfulness" on social media.  I'm not sure why, but I'm much too cynical for that expression of gratitude.  I have been asked to blog a little more since I haven't done this in months.  That said, I have been collecting many photos throughout history and like a few of my posts in the past, I'm going to share them with you.  America may not always be right and we might not always be lead by the someone that represents our ideology, but what we are is a nation of people that believe in freedom.  So many of our ancestors have suffered through unimaginable peril so the people after them can live their lives as God intended.  That being said, I hope you enjoy these and I hope they mean as much to you as they did to me.  Happy Thanksgiving.

Working out on the Titanic.  Too bad someone couldn't whisper in his ear that his rowing would be more fortuitous than he can imagine.   

 This is not Sylvester Stallone in Cliffhanger.  This is not a blue screen.  This is a dichotomy of huge balls or small brains.  

This is the result of battle in the South Pacific during WW2

 Their crime is simply being black.  

This is last public execution in America.

"First Do No Harm" would be a tall order.

Gross Anatomy 1890

This is one of the saddest pictures I've ever seen.  

Hitler and his contemporaries admiring the largest caliber single fire weapon ever created.   

50 years ago, the world mourns the loss of John Fitzgerald Kennedy.  

A slave showing just a few of the visible scars.  Those hidden are too many to count.  

Kent State terror.  1970

The hearse of Abraham Lincoln

Marilyn Monroe in a Funhouse.

Medical School 1800's.   

MLK Jr. and his son remove a cross burned in his yard.  This is how you bring people together.  What an amazing Leader of Civil Rights. 1960 

A soldier removing Hilter street sign and replacing it with Roosevelt in WW2. 'Merica!

Harriet Tubman and rescued slaves pose for a picture.  

King Tut's unopened tomb.

US exploding a German U-Boat

Yes it is. Vietnam 1965

Guten Tag

Since Heidi's divorce from this, she's been getting naked and tweeting.  All I can say is, awesome.  I truly don't believe there will ever be a day when her blitz doesn't light my weinerschnitzel. Oh, one more thing...that's after four kids...yeah yeah..let me guess, "If I had a personal chef, plastic surgeon, and personal trainer, I could look like that."  That's when I trail off and walk away.  

F You Rolling Stone

If I or anyone else gave two shits about reading Rolling Stone they wouldn't be grasping at straws with this heinous attempt to stir controversy for the first time in like two decades.  How can this liberal POS call themselves, or better yet, be considered journalism?  I'm not exactly sure why they think this is ok, but I'm sure it boils down to me not being edgy enough or smart enough or open minded enough to not judge him before he gets a trial.  Go f yourself.  This is man is blatantly responsible for the murder, anguish and/or terror of hundreds if not thousands, while all the while being funded and inspired by the oooosopeaceful followers of Islam.  To me, this is nothing but an anti-war slap in the face to all the men and women that have spilled their blood defending this shitty magazines freedom of speech/press etc.  Of course, Rolling Stone has every right to put whomever they want on their cover, just like I have every right to protest and not buy it.  The water you're bucketing out of that sinking ship, you and Playboy for that matter, will never be enough to save it.  I'll be glad when both go down.  Arrogance always loses.

We simply must do better.

I don't know much, but I know mass sex appeal when I see it.  This ain't it.  Kate Upton turned 21 this past week.  Most hot girls could slam 2 pizza and a twelve pack and lose weight when they're 21.  Also, those same girls have thighs that actually change shape around the hips and then again around the waist. Not Kate.  She's dedicated to turning her body into a FedEx package with huge sagging breasts.  I honest to God don't get it.   If her face were stunning, I would be like, "ok...I see that", but that's not even the case.  She looks like a chick you'd see on the beach in Jacksonville or Daytona on her vacation from Youngstown Ohio.  You know, lots of blonde hair, but also lots of black roots.  Would someone please explain the hype around this chick.  There are sooooooo many genuinely hot girls out there:  Kelly Brook, Irina Shayk, Alessandra Ambrosio, Alison Brie, Alex Morgan, Katrina Bowden, Blake Lively, to name a few.  I saw girl in GameSpot today on GT campus prettier than Kate Upton.  That's a lie.  Pretty girls on GT campus don't exist.  They're like unicorns and fire breathing dragons...speaking of fire breathing dragons, GT students love Dungeons and Dragons, but that's neither here nor there.  The point is, please break some ammonia and take a few deep breaths because we have to stop this nonsense guys.  I can't get behind, literally or figuratively, a two-time SI Swim Suit cover model that has a stomach that looks like play-dough and breasts that look like they've nursed Cleveland.  21 years old?  Come on.

Where has our desire, as citizens, to fight for this country gone?

There is a great big problem in this country with our Government.  Too many times these days, the blame is placed on either the parties in this country or the people in power.  In reality, it's neither of those.  The problems all arise from the positions of power in this country.  They are the genesis for all the problems.  The positions are too coveted.  For example, one always leaves office with exponentially more wealth than they started from under-the-table deals and lobbyist "donations".  Also, there are no term limits, there's car limo services paid for by the people, housing, where some most of our elected officials rendezvous with their mistresses and run gay brothels.  There are scores of quid-pro-quos, benefits and retirement until death, to name a few of the ridiculous benefits.  You can't point to political parties as the root of this evil.  People are being molded into sheep.  They are molded and shaped and pointed in the direction of the party urged into.  The things the parties offer in return for a vote creates the sheep.  I don't believe that apathy, indifference and a desire to be taken care of are inherent human traits.  I think it goes against the survival gene that we all inherently exhibit.  After all, it is the impetus for human beings having reproductive success throughout history.  I think independence, liberty and personal responsibility are instinctual.  It is innate.  Our forefathers even knew this to be true.  The contrary are all shaped ideologies.  They're shaped by the people holding the offices and desiring to keep the position.  They all send messages to the impoverished that, "If you join our party, we will take care of you," or "If you join our party, we will protect your liberties."  The enemy is not a political party.  The enemy is the growing desire for the seat and the power within the seat.  Where are the term limits?  What happened to the days when being a Senator or Congressman wasn't your job, rather something you did out of love for country.  Something has to change with the permanence of our politicians.  Something has to change the desire for these positions at any cost to the people these positions represent.  Something has to change in our Government that protects the people, not the elitist leaders in Washington that cannot relate to their constituents.  Something has to be done by the people of this country to regain the control of our government.  We cannot continue to prop up these elected officials for reasons as silly as ballot familiarity or handouts.  We, as a nation, must be smarter.  Instead of transitioning into a nation of individuals disseminating power, we're being led into chains of aristocracy. The time is now.

People like beer it seems.

In the most obvious conclusion of a scientific article ever written, some clowns came to the conclusion that drinking beer...wait for it...makes you want to drink more beer.  NO WAY!


"Researchers have discovered that sensory cues associated with drinking may stimulate certain parts of the brain and cause a craving for more alcohol. Giving people a very small amount of the brand of beer they most frequently consume produced a desire to drink that was correlated with the release of dopamine, a neurotransmitter that helps control the brain’s reward-and-pleasure centers."

I don't want to point out the obvious, but I like beer.  The only time I like beer more is when I taste beer.  I don't know if this study was subsidized by the US Government, but I could've saved them tons of money and come to the same conclusion.  Beer tastes good.  I like Beer.  Beer makes me want to drink more. The end.  You're welcome. 

Note to self: Malaysia is an effing nightmare.

While doing my daily run through the blues news, I noticed a story that stuck out to me.  Upon clicking on said story, I noticed that another story stuck out.  When I read that story, I saw yet another story.  Then I thought to myself, "Holy hell Toto, we're not in Kansas, anymore." 

In a fit of anger following a quarrel with his girlfriend, a drunken man cut off his penis and testicles with a pair of scissors. The 46-year-old man from Jilong city in Taiwan then flushed his severed organ down the toilet bowl, Kwong Wah Yit Poh reported. His girlfriend, whose name and age was not known, could only watch him commit the act in horror. She rushed the man, who was bleeding profusely by then, to a hospital. The report said that after the cut, there was only 3cm of the man's penis that remained. However, he could still urinate. After regaining consciousness, the man could not believe what he did. He freaked out and screamed while his girlfriend was seen praying with her hands clasped outside.

I'm not one to play on racial stereotypes; however, I love it when comedians do because it's funny as shit.  That said, the one thing that I couldn't help but notice was after severing his penis and flushing it down the toilet, there was only three cm left.  Wait.  He couldn't have started with much more than that right?  Scientific evidence shows Asians have the smallest penises.  I'm just a man quoting science.  I mean I understand trying to be a Billy Badass in front of your girlfriend, but I gotta be honest bro, there are certainly more strategic ways of being a boss than cutting off your junk and sending it on a water slide ride through the sewers of Malaysia.  Imagine the dudes working the water treatment plant.  That made for a weird Tuesday.

The daily also reported that a 59-year-old mother took her own life after giving money for the last time to her jobless son. It said that her unemployed 37-year-old son, a drug addict, had been asking money from her often. On Wednesday night, he threatened to kill himself if he was not given NT$80,000 (RM8,000) from his mother, a factory janitor. She gave him NT$40,000 (RM4,000) and then stabbed herself. The son, after learning of his mother's death, sobbed uncontrollably at the police station.

I'm sinking deeper into a dark cloud of depression...

Guang Ming Daily reported that a 15-year-old boy was molested by a man who posed as a police officer. The 5.30pm incident on Tuesday took place in Rawang when the teenager was stopped by the man after withdrawing money at a bank. The man claimed that the teenager had behaved suspiciously and asked to examine his backpack. He then ordered the teenager to follow him on his motorcycle to the police station for a urine test. However, the man took the boy to a secluded area and told him to take off his pants, threatening to arrest him if he did not oblige. Afraid and helpless, the teenager pulled down his pants and the man fondled his private parts for several minutes before abandoning him by the roadside. Ashamed and angry, the teenager lodged a police report, accompanied by his family members, at the Gombak police station.


Holy shit...this is like Dante's 9th layer of hell.  I'd rather walk through Harlem dressed as a white supremacist than be anywhere near the border of Malaysia.  If movies existed in real life, Malaysia would be like Biff's alternate 1985 from Back to the Future II.  There's just sex crimes, hookers, drugs, violence, bad hair and Marty's mom's ridiculous fake rack everywhere in this seedy country.  To think, it's so bad in Cuba that people get on life rafts and fight the ocean for a chance at freedom.  I can't even imagine what these people are doing to get out of that place.  You'd be better off raising your kids in a crack house supervised by the Castro brothers and John Wayne Gacy than letting your kids wake up one more day in the hell of Malaysia.  

KEEPING AUSTIN WEIRD, INDEED.

Movoto is a real estate website that has come out with a few interesting lists as of late.  What makes the lists particularly interesting is their views on the city of Atlanta.  Let me say, I've lived in many places and nowhere is perfect.  Florida is exceedingly miserable, but even that hell hole has some redeeming qualities...namely no state income tax.  Also, well...that's about it.  What makes me so pissed off about articles like this is that most people are too stupid to see the obvious political slant.  The writer of this article is from Austin Texas.  If you've never been to Austin, it's basically Berkley if Berkley were in a Red State.  What I mean by that is, only people in Berkley think Berkley is cool.  Same with Austin.  Which is why they come up with stupid slogans like, "Keep Austin Weird."  You know what, Austin...as long as you keep reproducing hipsters, jobless Socialists looking for handouts, self-proclaimed artists and hacky-sack hemp growing champions, you don't have to worry about KEEPING Austin weird.  It'll do just fine on its own.  As for this liberal Movoto writer, I would be shocked if she's ever been to the city of Atlanta. Regardless though, she took the criteria below and ranked American cities and Atlanta came out on top as the "Most redneck City in the America."  First of all, this is ridiculous because not too long ago the same stupid website ranked a city the "Nerdiest City in America."  Guess what city that was...ATLANTA.  How can a city be most redneck and nerdiest at the same time.  To me, that seems a little counterintuitive.  This website has zero credibility, but if I were the capital investors of this waste of cyberspace, I would fire the dogshit out of this writer because the axe she is grinding on Atlanta seems really personal.  If I were to guess, I bet she was interested in a guy here and since Atlanta is essentially the Mecca for single guys, he probably took one whiff of that dirty footed hemp necklaced dreaded Janis Joplin doppelgänger and hauled ass to the first blonde with a real southern accent and a fake rack.  

Another day, another list.  This one, from Movoto's Natalie Grigson, an Austin Native, ranks "The 10 Most Redneck Cities in America," and what do you know there are two texas cities on them.  Yes, Fort Worth and Arlington have been ranked the sixth and seventh most redneck cities in the nation.  The full list:

1. Atlanta, GA
2. Kansas City, MO
3. Oklahoma City, OK
4. Nashville, TN
5. Tulsa, OK
6. Fort Worth, TX
7. Arlington, TX
8. Sacramento, CA
9. Cleveland, OH
10. Mesa, AZ

Sacramento? Sacramento, California? We were skeptical, too, but after looking at their methodology we were less skeptical?
• Percent of population that didn’t complete high school
• Number of gun and ammo stores per capita
• Number of taxidermists per capita
• Number of cowboy boot stores per capita
• Number of country radio stations per capita
• Number of NASCAR race tracks close by
• Number of Walmarts per capita
• Number of riding lawn mower/tractor repair shops per capita

Here is the Nerd Section:

Of course, the creators of the infographic didn’t just pull out the list from their behind. They did have a criteria:

•   Number of annual comic book, video game, anime, and

   Sci-fi/fantasy conventions

•   People per comic book store

•   People per video game store

•   People per traditional gaming store

•   People per computer store

•   People per bookstore

•   People per LARPing group

•   People per science museum

•   Distance to the nearest Renaissance faire

I don’t know about you, but those items are pretty convincing. If I were looking to move to the US, I would definitely use this infographic as a starting point.

So here you go, America’s 10 nerdiest cities:

1.            Atlanta, GA

2.            Portland, OR

3.            Seattle, WA

4.            Sacramento, CA

5.            Minneapolis, MN

6.            Boston, MA

7.            Las Vegas, NV

8.            Miami, FL

9.            San Jose, CA

10.          Denver, CO

Yeah...ok Kim...if you say so.

This picture is a blimp Kim Kardashian. No, seriously, this is how she looks in real life. WTF is going on btw? Which is front...wait. Huh? This picture is what Kim Kardashian's harem of handlers, publicists, agents, psychics, chefs, photographers and digitizing wizards says she looks like. RUFKM? Those two people are barely the same species. The person in the top photo looks like it ate the one below. I'm so sick of this human being. What makes me even more sick is that she and Kanye West reproduced before me. If I die, my genetic material will cease...yet those two despicable people's DNA will live another day. FML.

Finding a genie that looks like this would present me with a multitude of problems.

I've been asked several times to comment on Hannah Davis, the DirectTV Genie, SI Swimsuit model, and another in the long list of women to get acquainted with Derek Jeter's penis.  The 5'10" Fiona Apple look-a-like, sans heroin, grew up in St Thomas.  I'm still trying to decide how I feel about this chick.  Don't get me wrong, I think she's sexy, but there's almost too much of a good thing going on.  It's as if her features are hyperbolized.  Look, big lips are nice, but not this much.  Blue eyes are gorgeous, but Village of the Damn eyes that can steal your soul is another.  Tall is awesome, but WNBA Big Bird height is something completely different.  Big breasts are fantastic, but...well...big breasts are fantastic.  I'm not trying to be flippant.  I simply just want to tone down things a bit.  These pictures remind me of taking a really hot girl on a walk down River Street in Savannah and stopping at one of those street artists that draw caricatures of people that essentially do nothing but make you feel even more insecure about your one obvious unattractive feature.  Also, I miss the Russian guy on the DirectTV commercials that raised miniature giraffes.  He was awesome.