Despite It Being Halloween, They're Not Wearing Jort Costumes...

Just a late minute addition to prep for the World's Largest Outdoor Cocktail Party. I honestly googled UGA fans several times hoping to find some that would balance the trashiness and jort donning. I found one. I know they exist, but they're elusive. Nonetheless, this should be an amazing game full of incredible offenses, hard hitting, very very fast athletes, and at least one NFL QB (sorry Tebow). Can't wait.

GOOOOOOOOOOOOOO DAWGS!

This Guy Should Be Beaten With a Boat Paddle...

This guy just won the New York Lottery scratch off ticket that yields 1 million dollars for life. Why do I hate him? He was aleady a multimillionaire. He's an investment banker living in London and was in the US for a wedding. He asked his mother to buy him 100 dollars worth of tickets. She threw in 20.00 and bought four. When he landed back in London, his mother called him with the great news. 931,500 dollars for the rest of his life. Seriously, I better not ever see this guy on the street. I'll kick his ass.

Obama Wants to Redistribute 40% of Your Child's Halloween Candy...Oh and Your Money.

I have been trying to find the positive attributes of Barack Obama, especially since he'll probably be our President. For instance, his ears are kind of funny. And, I think it would be awesome to see the President playing pickup basketball games at Rucker Park on 155th in Manhattan. All joking aside though, I think that the President should always be respected. You can disagree with ideology, personal behavior, but the Office of the Presidency should be respected. This latest interview from Chicago Public Radio in 2001, however, is the proverbial straw. It's not our right to have money. It's not our right to be fiscally stable. Our rights are simply the protection from infringement from the governement or any other party that would affect our lives, our liberties, or our properties. Socialism has never worked. In an article, Why Socialism Failed, Mark J Perry writes about it's shortcomings.

"Socialism is the Big Lie of the twentieth century. While it promised prosperity, equality, and security, it delivered poverty, misery, and tyranny. Equality was achieved only in the sense that everyone was equal in his or her misery.

In the same way that a Ponzi scheme or chain letter initially succeeds but eventually collapses, socialism may show early signs of success. But any accomplishments quickly fade as the fundamental deficiencies of central planning emerge. It is the initial illusion of success that gives government intervention its pernicious, seductive appeal. In the long run, socialism has always proven to be a formula for tyranny and misery.

A pyramid scheme is ultimately unsustainable because it is based on faulty principles. Likewise, collectivism is unsustainable in the long run because it is a flawed theory. Socialism does not work because it is not consistent with fundamental principles of human behavior. The failure of socialism in countries around the world can be traced to one critical defect: it is a system that ignores incentives.

In a capitalist economy, incentives are of the utmost importance. Market prices, the profit-and-loss system of accounting, and private property rights provide an efficient, interrelated system of incentives to guide and direct economic behavior. Capitalism is based on the theory that incentives matter!"

I'm no Warren Buffett. I didn't learn economic principles from Ben Graham, but I can deduce that there are no incentives if your income is redistributed. What's the point of success? If the principles are, "From each according to their abilities, to each according to their needs," as Marx insisted, then why excel in anything?

There needs to be an explanation of this video by Barack Obama, but I bet you won't even get a peep of this on most news networks. This level of biased journalism is unprecedented. I hope America is more awake than we appear.
http://www.fee.org/publications/the-freeman/article.asp?aid=4014

Apparently There's a Game This Weekend...

I just returned from Baton Rouge Louisiana, which surprisingly, I found to be quite beautiful. The fans were nothing like their hostile reputation. I found everyone to be charming and benevolent...well, looking back, maybe it was just the drunk Cajun girls.

After traveling all day, I decided to put some pics up that might get you in the mood to tackle Tim Teblow and the rest of the Gaytors. I apologize to my friends, Brian, Liz, Scot, Ronda, Keith, and Miranda. They are unquestionably misguided and know not what they do. I look at it as my civic duty. Being friends with them is like dancing with someone in a wheelchair. They can dance, but it's really weird and hurts when they step on your toes.

Go Dawgs!!!!

There's a Stalker In Our Midst...

Ok. Who in the @%#& is Delta Goodrem and why won't she stop calling me? Seriously, Delta, I know you're waiting at your computer repeatedly hitting the refresh key, but can't you see, I'm not interested. You've got your whole life ahead of you. I know I'm Mr. Right, but you'll find another sexy, perfect, charming, charasmatic soul mate. You're a go-getter. You've got to stop this self destructive behavior and go on with your life. I will only break your heart.

God continues hating successful teens from Louisiana...

One would think that it would be impossible to be more inept at life than Britney and Jamie Lynn Spears, but as life always does, it throws you gems like this to remind you that watching 4 straight hours of infomercials doesn't make you the dumbest person in the southeastern United States.

According to a report from Fox News and the AP, the 18-year-old Miss Teen Louisiana, Lindsey Evans, and three friends were arrested and charged with theft on Saturday after walking out of a Bossier City, La., restaurant without paying the bill.

The only problem with her dine and dash was her leaving her purse behind with her driver's license and bag of weed. When dipshit returned to the restaurant after realizing her goof, the police were gathered around admiring the quality of her laughing grass....oh and waiting to arrest her on theft and possession of marijuana (admiring the weed part, I made up).

Say what you will about her status as a role model, but look at that hot ass mug shot. This whole story is almost too good to be true.

Iran will be so easy to sit down with...

Apparently today, OPEC announced an emergency meeting in Vienna on Friday in efforts to maximize the raping of the worldwide oil consumer, and more specifically, the American consumer. Venezuela's Hugo Chavez(Sean Penn's pal), and an Mahmoud Ahmadinejad (Captain Crazy), led Iran will be among a handful of other batshit crazy countries to decide the fate of a barrel of oil. As the last several weeks have seen the prices drop to 73 some odd dollars a barrel, it seems Americans are faring too well in our current economic crisis that has millions of homes being foreclosed.

As Iran's Oil Minister Gholamhossein Nozari said earlier last week, "The era of cheap oil is finished."
Awesome.

When asked what price Iran would seek for its oil, Nozari retorted, "The more the better."
Double Awesome.

Seriously, can we contemplate sending someone to Mars, yet we, along with China, the leader in worldwide gasoline consumption, not develop something that would make petroleum worthless in 10 years? This is embarrassing.

Polar Bear...

I'll tell you what's awesome. It's really awesome when politicians use our superfluous taxation to bail out poorly managed financial institutions while their respective "leaders" like Stan Oneal, Chuck Prince, Dick Fuld collect nearly a billion in payouts for which they never have to answer. AIG continues to collect "bail out" monies from the US taxpayer, yet pampers their executives and high level management with spa treatments in California in a weeekend costing over 440,000 dollars of the 85 billion the American taxpayer was duped into covering. If the taxpayer owns 80% of AIG, how is this allowed?

Also, according to Paulson, the root cause of the economic meltdown is the decline in the housing market:

"And that root cause is the housing correction which has resulted in illiquid mortgage-related assets that are choking off the flow of credit which is so vitally important to our economy. We must address this underlying problem, and restore confidence in our financial markets and financial institutions so they can perform their mission of supporting future prosperity and growth."

Phillip Brewer, a writer of money matters, completely and insightfully disagrees:

"But for addressing this financial crisis, all we need to understand is that the correction is not the root cause. The root cause is that house prices got so high that the average household couldn't afford an average house. Once that happened, a correction was inevitable.

The way to address the root cause is to let house prices drop to where an average house is within the means of an average household. (Or, alternatively, boost the income of the average household to the point that they can afford an average house. But that's very hard. Letting houses prices go on falling, although painful for everyone who owns a house or who has lent money to someone who owns a house, is very easy.)

Now, some sort of bailout plan may be necessary to keep the financial system from simply collapsing under the weight of all that bad debt. But if that plan is focused on keeping house prices from falling, it's a hopeless plan. If you successfully kept house prices up, we would remain mired in this problem until incomes rose enough to make house prices affordable."

Being a responsibe consumer is something Americans haven't been in a very long time. The housing boom is no different. If this has taught us anything, it's taught me to bury my money in the back yard, don't be a homeowner, but instead rent a house or preferably a mobile home, immediately get into the hospitality industry for large corporations, and most importantly, listen to my friend Aaron and short the financials(May 08)i.e. Bear, Merrill, Lehman.

http://www.wisebread.com/philip-brewer

"I'll probably just get a job at Starbucks, scrape by on a couple hundred grand a year..."

Beyond Classic.

How You Say Merry Christmas @ DMX's House...

Rat-a-tat-tat. Nothing screams fun family holidays like AK-47 ice cubes. I picture Christmas dinner at DMX's house with all the adult gangstas at the big table using AK-47 ice cubes, while the children sit at the "kids table" getting only the 9mm cubes. Sucks being a kid, but really cool to be a rapper's kid.

Boost Your Confidence...Say No to Stinky Junk!

Im actually staring at a blinking cursor with my mouth wide open wondering how I can articulate manjunk properly into words. This has to be the most perverse yet incredibly awesome product to hit the market in 5 years. I wasn't aware, however, that organic "junkwash" was a commodity in today's market, but apparently my product marketing forsight is behind the eight ball...no pun intended.

http://www.manjunk.com/

My million dollar television...

So if you were to enter the Delorian and utilize the flux capacitor to take us back three years, you would find me wandering the mecca of dorkdom which is Best Buy looking for a way to spend 5 thousand dollars. The sad part of spending that kind of money on a television is you realize that after buying it, you have to watch an amazing amount of television in order to not feel cheated. So, it's a double whammy:
1. I just gave myself another excuse to skip the gym and waste hours of my life watching the tube.
2. I spent 5 grand on something that has literally 9,000,000 electronic parts.
How do I know this you ask? Well over the course of the last few months, I began to notice the colors changing. Shows that were once vivd and alive were now morphing into Shrek marathons as everything had a yellowish green hue. It apparently had been happening so gradually and so long that I didn't even notice the changes; however, every guest that comes to the house can't wait to point out my misfortune. After doing some research on the Sony SXRD 60" TV, I discovered that all of these particular TV's were having problems with the optical block. So many in fact, that there is an active class action lawsuit and Sony is replacing them all for no charge. Unfortunately for me, I had already replaced the bulb for no reason...250.00...bend me over again. The repair guy came over and had my TV in 2000 pieces within 45 minutes. I was convinced that without divine intervention, it would never be put back together. I was wrong. He turned the TV back on and the color was brilliant! Except now every word or ticker or scoreboard is crooked. Noticeably crooked. So, he has to come back and replace another optical block. Lucky for me, he's on vacation for two weeks. These are the days of my life...