Javaris Crittenton is a consummate professional, oh, and a murderer.

Javaris Crittenton never had a chance to establish a reputation in the NBA before he became notorious. He was the other, seemingly insignificant half in one of the most embarassing incidents the Wizards franchise has had to face. Crittenton was an injured, undistinguished player buried on the Wizards’ bench when he got caught up in the infamous locker-room gun incident with Gilbert Arenas in December 2009 — a situation that led to both players getting suspended from the league for the rest of the season, Arenas spending time in a halfway house, and Crittenton pleading guilty a misdemeanor gun charge and a year of probation.

Now, nearly 19 months after he pleaded guilty to possession of an unregistered firearm, Crittenton faces a homicide charge in the death of Jullian Jones, a mother of four. Atlanta police allege that Crittenton fired gunshots from a black Chevy Tahoe. Jones, whose age has been reported either 22 or 23, was struck in the leg and later died during surgery, the Atlanta Journal-Constitution reported.


Let's face the reality of this situation. Javaris Crittenton is a moron and a punk. When you're a GT basketball star, a first round draft pick in the NBA, and you make millions, how hard can it be to stay away from guns and violence. Enjoy about 20 years in the clink, Javaris. Other than the mother of four that lost her life senselessly, the other sad part of this story is that because of his money, he'll plead out of the death penalty. I love the State using my money to keep useless human beings like this alive in jail for 20+ years.

Hey Ya'll...I wanna teach and stuff like that.

In a recent interview, everyone's favorite trailer park millionaire sex symbol, Britney Spears, talked about the things she would've done with her life had she not sold her soul to the devil for fame and fortune:

“Career-wise I’d probably be a teacher,” Britney, 29, tells PopJustice.com. “I love kids and even in what I do now one of my favorite parts of my day is getting to meet my fans before the show. Especially the little ones. They are always so cute.”

Either that, or a stay-at-home mom: “I’d be raising my family. Being a mom. I’m very strong in the way I raise my kids and stuff.”

Yeah Britney, of course. You're form rural Louisiana, what else could you do besides be a stay at home mom? I guess there's always operating a successful meth lab in your trailer. You know, when I think of teachers influencing the lives of our youth, I think of character, stability and intelligence...ya'll!

What she's really saying is, "Thank Jesus I hit the lottery of all lotterys and since I was 8 I've grown increasingly out of touch with reality, but if that weren't enough to piss you off, if I couldn't do this for millions and millions, I guess I would be someone normal and poor like a teacher."

In a related story, if Jeffrey Dahmer weren't caught with severed penises and human heads in his apartment in Milwaukee, he would've been the best scout leader the world has ever seen (Not a true story).

Republicans, blame yourselves.

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As the election of 2012 approaches, I sit scratching my head in bewilderment. I don't have a problem with Barack Obama. I loathe his policies, but to be honest, he's behaving and governing just as he has with every office he's held up to this point. Doing what he said he was going to do, albeit detrimental and devastating to this country and economy, is more than I can say for George W Bush and countless other Republicans who ran on limiting the Federal Government and its spending. I know Ron Paul is considered a loose cannon, much like Perot in 1992. This isn't 1992, though. We're facing worldwide economic peril due to unprecedented debt in both foreign and domestic economies, falling currencies, rising gold prices due to market trepidation and a President that believes spending and taxing will bail us out. It like a perfect storm of what NOT to do in a a recession. I know most liberals, like Stewart, support Paul, much like they did in 92, because he, like Perot, can divide the Republican vote and earn Obama another 4 more years. As perilous as that may be, I'm ready to send a message to the Republican party. Most young, tax paying, contributing Americans, that are sick of empty promises made by both parties are willing to crawl across the desert for a third party, especially if the best we have the Republicans have to offer are Romney, Bauchman and Perry. Is Paul electable, probably not. Is he over-the-top, yep. You can say all those things and support them fairly effectively, but you can't say that he caves to interest groups, breaks promises about increasing the size of government, or wants to continue sending our troops to fight a war we can never win. Bin laden is dead. We need to bring our troops home and like Paul said, put them on the border of Mexico. That's where our war is being lost. I'm disgusted by this election already. Washington sickens me.

I love to witness the demise of people who neglect children.

First, let me say a thank you to Ashley who sent this gem of a video to me. There are so many things that make this video spectacular. I love how excited these people are to be getting these tickets. They all seem to have found the money to come to the stadium and pay for 8.00 soft drinks, but when it comes to extra money for their children, well, they're just too broke. Kudos to the Lee County Sheriff's Office. Ingenuity like this should be rewarded. It seems police officers just spend a lot of time driving around talking on their cell phones and increasing their BMI's (in shape, honorable officers excluded). When people from the north wonder what the big deal is about college football you should send them this video. You know you live in a state where college football is just about all there is when you can set up a criminal sting around free Auburn/Alabama tickets. Gosh, I'm still smiling over these low life child abusers going to jail.

P.S. My favorite part of this whole video are the balloons, the jerseys and the Black Eyed Peas wailing in the background.

Trust me youre gonna wanna see this video:

www.exposedandnaked.blogspot.com

Marissa Miller is gross.

Not only am I ridiculously in love with this supermodel, but now Im jealous of her father's abs. My God, can a guy catch a break around here. Just one or the other...I'm secretly hoping for the supermodel paddle surfing in 4" heels, but if you think the abs are a better fit, you know more than I. Amen-

George Clooney and this/his Italian Villa win....BIG TIME.

Krista Allen (2002-04)


Elisabetta Canalis (2009-2011)


Stacey Keibler (2011- )


I guess like 40 years ago George Clooney was desirable, but this is 2011. Unless you're living at the Playboy Mansion, total hip replacements, gray hair and yellow teeth probably don't do it for you. That said, Clooney keeps fooling gorgeous women. You see, thousands of years ago, when men earned their mates based on attractiveness, overall health, and competitive battles, money didn't matter; however, again, this is 2011 and money has become something that can trump all instinctual signs that point to a mate. Now, in today's world, good genes don't matter, unless those genes are made of 100 dollar bills. Clooney better thank his lucky Hollywood star because without that kind of jack, he's be the creepy old guy at sales meetings talking and laughing loud in his attempt to lure some impressionable, depressed young woman into a bad decision.

There are certainly worse problems, one would think.

Cirque du Soleil for strippers

There's exotic dancing and there's this. There's no way this girl is anything but a Pole Dancing Fitness instructor that spends endless hours working on her CORE. I could live my entire life for the next three years doing P90X 15 hours a day and there's no way I could get the strength to do the things this girl does in one terrible URSHER song. If competitive cheerleading is "considered a sport", then how can this not?