SJP is a true beauty.

Allegedly, Paris Fashion Week just wrapped up last week. If you were an alien from another universe and those words were spoken with the included picture, you would assume Paris Fashion Week was something involving tortuous rabid centaurs that had come to wipe out all life on planet Earth. I could live to 219 years old and I wouldn't understand how this chick is famous, or better yet, considered a fashion icon. The reason I know men will never, ever understand women is because women's heart rates increase at the thought of a new Sex and the City movie coming out and men would rather cut off our penises than be forced to watch this horse-looking atrocity portray a hot chick in New York that gets laid by millionaires fighting over her. I've seen more believable stories at Obama campaign rallies.

Überraschung!!!!!!!!!!!

I woke up this morning to an email from Heidi. It read (adorable German accent)
"Trey, I had a friend take some photos of me last week. I just wanted you to know how much I miss you're sexy body and charming wit. I'm coming over tonight with sauerkraut...you bring the sausage."

P.S. Don't listen to the tabloids....I love your pasty skin.

Love,

Heidi <3


Well...

Seal 0 Trey Yearwood 1

Reasons I hate Chris Brown (part 6,254)

This picture was uploaded to Chris Brown's Twitter earlier this week with the caption, "Which COLOR today?"

Honestly, Chris Brown is barely literate. If you're wondering who the dumbest person on Earth is, do yourself a favor and take a gander at his Twitter account. It looks like John Wilkes Boothe and Lee Harvey Oswald got together in an attempt to assassinate the English language once and for all. Two years ago, Chris Brown, because he beat his girlfriend's ASS like a little bitch would, almost lost everything. ALMOST. Instead, idiots in this country "Forgave" him for his mistake. A mistake is running a stop sign. A mistake isn't THIS. Two years later though, after being so sorry for his mistakes and being so busy feeling sorry for his appalling behavior, he buys two identical Lambo's and a couple of Ferrari's. If you have purchased any of CB's music in the last two years, please never speak to me or read this blog. You suck too.

RG3 > Andrew Luck

If any of you watched the NFL Combine, you're acutely aware of not only how ridiculously athletic RG3 is, but how much skill he has for playing QB in the NFL. Personally, I think he's gonna be everything Michael Vick's athleticism promised, but his IQ couldn't deliver.

What pisses me off about all the coaches and rich white owners in the NFL is how they all inflated Andrew Luck's combine performance. They raved about how his athleticism shocked everyone because they clocked him at a 4.5. Well, a 4.5 is fast, but his official time wasn't anywhere close to that. RG3 has every bit of skill Andrew Luck has, strong arm, great footwork, phenom QB mechanics, a great head, and disgusting athleticism. Andrew Luck, because he went to Stanford, is placed on this Caucasian pedestal because he reminds them of someone that once played at Stanford and turned out to be a pretty good QB. He's no Elway. The combine commentators were all comparing Luck's athleticism to Cam Newton. One word, PUHHHHHLEASE. Luck is a great QB. He's a very intelligent player. He, too, has great footwork...oh, and he's white and played at Stanford. Time will tell the true story, I suppose. I think both QB's will be good. One will be great and I think that's Griffin. He's a once in 20 years athlete. I can't wait to watch him light up the NFC.

Oh and if you see the image above running toward you like this, you're more than likely an actor in a predator sequel and you're about to die.

Lindsay Lohan is stunning....and hosting SNL tonight.

Jimmy fallon is damn funny, not to mention extremely talented. Anyway, he had Lindsay Lohan on this week to promote her hosting SNL. Personally, I can't wait because the rumor has it that she will be doing parodies of herself all night. My prediction is she'll remind us why everyone loved her like 20,000 kilos and a new set of veneers ago.

P.S. Im pretty sure Jimmy Fallon does Neil Young better than Neil Young.