Excuse me, but I thought Sam Kinnison was dead.

I could start this post off by saying, What in holy hell has Kelly Clarkson been eating?" However, clearly the answer would be everything. So, I'll just leave you this pic from either Sam Kinnison's reunion tour or Louis Anderson's recent Vegas show...I'm not sure which.

Holy Cow...pardon the pun.

I didn't know that Belly Clarkson and Jessica Plumpson were friends, but allegedly the two were spotted sitting on a bench on Sunset Blvd drinking Crisco Milkshakes. I don't know why Kelly has let herself go, but I'm almost sure she's eaten all four judges from American Idol and Clive Davis.