Showing posts with label Maxim top 100. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Maxim top 100. Show all posts

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Maxim Magazine has their finger on the pulse of the American Man.


Nothing on earth, besides Beyonce, Tyra Banks, Sean Hannity, and Meryl Streep, annoys me more than Maxim magazine. Actually, it's any mens magazine for that matter. How out-of-touch can you be with your target audience. It's almost like the editors of mens magazines are getting consulted by the Republican Party because neither have a clue to whom they're marketing. I don't have one ounce of homophobia, but I'm pretty sure every editor for Maxim, Playboy, Esquire, FHM, GQ are gay. It doesn't matter to me because I don't buy those stupid magazines anyway. But if I did, I certainly wouldn't have Katy Perry at the top of 2010's Maxim's Hot 100 List. That's just re-damn-diculous. She's not the best looking girl at a drag show. Case in Point:

Katy Perry-->#1
Alessandra Ambrosio-->#63

Katy Perry-->#1
Kelly Brook-->#89

Katy Perry-->#1
Marissa Miller-->#10

Katy Perry-->#1
Blake Lively-->#4

Are those numbers jokes? Does higher numbers mean a better score? Is this a golf or bowling hotness score? There's no way you can convince me that these magazines are trying to move copies, let alone, sell to men. I wouldn't purchase Maxim Magazine if you held a gun to my head while you fed my dog an anti-freeze smoothie. These people are so clueless they couldn't sell sexual fantasy unless it's wrapped in size 14 high heels, Adam's apples, and dancing to Reba's Fancy or anything by Cher. It's not that I care, just don't hand me an apple and tell me it's a pear. That's insulting. Also, that's why you can't sell magazines.

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Olivia Wilde makes me smile.





I have to say that I've been talking about Olivia Wilde for months...long before that pitiful excuse for a Men's magazine named her to their "Top 100". Apparently, more people read this blog than I thought because her popularity and sheer sexiness has taken the world by storm. Not just me, but Megan Fox also thinks pretty highly of Olivia:

“I mean, I could see myself in a relationship with a girl — Olivia Wilde is so sexy she makes me want to strangle a mountain ox with my bare hands. She’s mesmerizing.”

Well, Megan, me too. I'm not sure what mountain oxen are or do, but I would try to strangle a drove of them if it meant 26 seconds with Olivia Wilde. Seriously, I would sprint the anchor leg of the 4X400 relay on fire while running on top of dirty needles and rattlesnakes for a chance to serve Olivia Wilde a burrito.

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Olivia Wilde...she got my vote.




To say that *GASP* magazines, which btw are so 20th century, like Maxim and Playboy are pointless and irrelevant, would be like saying Lindsay Lohan is a string bean coke head. In like 20 years, people will pick up words printed on paper and they will repsond like those two kids playing OUTLAW did on Back to the Future II. "Aww...you gotta use your hands." Anyway, Maxim is the dumbest idea ever invented. Imagine the guy that invented Maxim sitting around thiking of the next genius idea. He's thinking, he's thinking, and BAM!!! Playboy, but with more clothes!!!! BRILLIANT!!!! Well, albeit the magazines days are numbered, they finally got their MAXIM TOP 100 right this year...well almost right. Here's the top 10.

1. Olivia Wilde
2. Megan Fox
3. Bar Refaeli **
4. Malin Akerman
5. Mila Kunis
6. Eliza Dusku *
7. Adriana Lima
8. Rihanna
9. Jordana Brewster *
10. Jennifer Love Hewitt **********

* Denotes WTF
** Denotes Trey's WTF
********** Denotes Jennifer Love Hewitt