Wait a doggone second...they're what?

Surely you're pulling my leg. The sitch and the 16 and Pregnant poster child were chosen by Candies as the spokespeople for their abstinence campaign? I can only think the executives at Candies are pointing at pictures of the average American and laughing like humans do at the gorilla exhibits, "look, they're so funny." Selecting these two as models for abstinence is like letting magic Johnson teach teenagers about wearing condoms, or Jeffrey Dahmer being selected by PETA as vegetarian of the 20th century, or Lindsay Lohan leading the anti-penis campaign. I'm 32 years old and I've never witnessed something less rational. Holy smokes, I've never been more over two numbskulls.

Dunzo...I really didnt see this one coming

Everyone on Earth saw this coming. At the Republican convention, Levi looked about as interested in appeasing his future mother-in-law with a smile and hint of happiness as Paula Abdul does in sobriety. This guy is trash. You could look at him and tell. He only wanted Sarah Palin's daughter's V-card for bragging rights. In her defense, first and foremost, she doesnt have much to choose from in rural Alaska. Moreover, Bristol probably saw this guy as the school bad boy that would absolutely piss her parents off because that's what young girls do. Little did she know she was getting the baby batter with the absolute worst timing in history from someone that has no aspirations other than, "hell raising, beer drinking and kicking ass." When you're named Levi Johnston, there isn't much else to do besides become really good at packing dip cans, dipping, and ruining your baby momma's momma's political aspirations and life. If the Alaskan Palin's were the Massachusetts Kennedy's, Levi would have disappeared only to be found by a hunter in the belly of a grizzley bear with his fingerprints and teeth surgically removed and two bullet holes in the back of his head. The coroner's report would simply read: SUICIDE.