Kim Catrall is sexy

I'm not sure how or why this girl is always in pictures. Other than one role on Nip/Tuck, the year it turned to sh#t, I couldn't name one thing she does. She's essentially a professional paparazzi notifier of her location. Only Speidi does it better than she does. She tries to be sexy, but everything she does backfires. She's like Jessica Simpson's career, but in human form. She's like 21, but looks 40 at least. If you're 21 and your face looks like a wax figure of yourself, things aren't going well for you. Watching this train wreck flaunt her claymation mug on the red carpet is painful. I don't know if Hollywood is just really this awful, or I just never noticed before.

MOMMY!!!!!

The press says this is Rose McGowan, but I think it might be a serpant of death. In fact, if I opened my closet door, as I do every night to check for monsters, and this hideous creature was staring at me, I would fall straight back onto the floor assuming the angel of death aka that black shadow that came for all the bad people in Ghost, was sent for me. I bet if you checked Rose's garage, you would find she doesn't have a car; instead, a black chariot constantly engulfed in flames pulled by floating horses of hell.