Everyone rest easy...

After hours of deliberation and discussion regarding our future, you'll be happy to know, Cheryl and I have decided to see this through. She and I have worked it out and she totally forgives me for being "insensitive about her feelings." I know now that birthdays are "special" and that I should be more "attentive" to her "needs." I know all these words about feelings and caring and understanding make me sound a little soft and effeminate, but it really wouldn't matter what she asked me to do, I'd be game. If Cheryl Cole suggested I run naked through troughs of fat tailed scorpions while Austrailian Aborigines threw razor blade boomerangs at my genitals, I'd think, "How did I get so lucky to have such an understanding and reasonable girl?" I would answer back to myself in a low confident voice, God only knows, Trey. God only knows."

I feel like such an imbicile...how could i forget?

I must take this opportunity to apologize openly to everyone and especially my lil Brit girlfriend for forgetting; otherise, I'm in chateau bow-wow for weeks. You see, my girl turned 26 today and not only did I not post about her, I didn't even have the decency to call her. So, in essence cherry muffin, I'm sorry. Truly sorry.

In a related story, The American Idol, and I mean idol, Fantasia, turned 25 today. She still can't read or write, her house was foreclosed on, and to this day, not one person in the Milky Way galaxy can recite a title to one of her songs without consulting wikipedia or Nostradamus.

This one dates a footballer, Jame, and I hate him too.

Cheryl Tweedy went out in leather/spandex pants and did what she does best...look ridonkulously hot. Girls like this don't date normal guys. They date footballers. I know "soccer" players in the US are usually the borderline retarded kids running around on the field because early on, you don't even really have to have vital signs in order to feel part of the action; however, appararently footballers are like Lancelot or Achilles in Europe; mythical creatures of bravery and beauty sent to rid the world of all available, beautiful, European women. The fact that this guy landed Cheryl Cole is truly light years beyond my comprehension. Damn you Chelsea! Damn You!

Being this hot is almost a curse.

Cheryl Tweedy delievers time and time again. She could wear a burlap sack with those spring loaded eyeball clown glasses and Ronald McDonald shoes and I'd still walk seven miles on hot coals while battling fire breathing dragons and evil wizards for an opportunity to stand next to her in the supermarket.