I admit, I'm strangely interested.

We were really concerned with the Y2K the last time I dreamed about making the sex with Gwyneth Paltrow. Specifically, it was right after I saw Great Expectations and before Shakespeare in Love. Anyway, tomorrow night she's on that show all all my gay friends (except you JB), tell me to watch. Now I haven't seen one episode of Glee, but I have to admit, this seems really entertaining. I'm not ashamed to admit my affection for show tunes and top 40. I'm not sold on this Garth Brooks/Chris Gaines transformation Gwyneth is working on, however. In her country song I can't help but think of The Upper East Side when she sings about the "Ground she grew up on". Surely when she refers to being Country Strong, she's referring to New York's United Nations Building on the East River. Yeah, I know she's playing a character, but come on guys. This movie looks ri-GD-diculous. I'd rather someone slam a hot poker into my eye. Stick with Cee-Lo Green...that, I can tolerate.

Is it possible for everyone to hate you?

This is Gwyneth Paltrow, whom I had an unhealthy obession with about 10 years ago. I'm actually embarassed to say that. The Paltrow of 10 years ago was edgy, sexy, and well, fammous. Now she just can't open her mouth without reminding me how much I despise her. She posted this on her blog:

"The summer before last, a mutual friend brought the lovely Katie Lee Joel and her husband William over for dinner. Much to my delight, she brought a fresh batch of these cookies with her. I adore the contrast of the dark chocolate and the cherries -heaven."

Gwyneth, you are not British Roalty. You're a self indulgent asshole, but not royalty. Everyone in this universe knows Billy Joel as Billy Joel, but because what, you're obsessed with yourself and your own fame, you call him William to insist that you know him better than we do. William. I swear to God, I would punch you in the face. Billy Joel is Billy. Not William. That's stupid and so are you. Here's another newsflash Gwennie...you star as a secretary in Iron Man, your only successful movie in like a thousand years, and even that role could be played by a limbless deaf mute. "Here Mr Iron..Mr Man...Mr Iron...Man, here's your morning coffee and your make believe paper." That's a wrap Gwyneth. What a day! You're amazing! Everyone give a round of applause for Ms Paltrow's hard work. Applause ensues. (Puke) Actresses like Gwyneth Paltrow make me want to burn down the Hollywood sign. These people are worth millions and perpetuate make believe ideologies, encourage mediocrity, and force their ignorant platforms on misguided, confused, influenceable idiots.