Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Im convinced anyone can be famous...



Nothing points out the magic of Disney computer animation, airbrushing, and Hollywood makeovers more than these photos. If you were a toothless, smelly, inbred from Kentwood Louisiana, you wouldn't even take a second look at this chick in the local Wal-Mart while you were refilling your Valtrex and Aldara prescription. I know every girl in Hollywood doesn't wake up beautiful, but boy does this make think twice when you see a pretty girl. Say what you want about this redneck skank...she just might be back.

Monday, November 24, 2008

If my plane crashed in the Andes, I'd eat Beyonce's legs first.



Aside from Beyonce "40 Gallon Drum Leg" Knowles' vocal affectations, she's also apparently a thief and plagiarist. If you're a dork like me, this might be old news, but I couldn't resist the urge to parlay this in with the last post. The playmate...I mean indie singer seen above, was the original writer and singer of that abomination Beyonce has on the radio right now, "If I Were a Boy." Beyonce not only stole the song, but never gave writing credit to BC Jean(WTF). Listening to a loop of Oprah's screaming introductions for her guests while tied to a chair of cyanide coated nails would be more pleasant than hearing this song sung by Beyonce. Nonetheless, if you go here, you can hear a much better, less created/studio recording of a shitty song. And no, I'm not gay.

Beyonce Has Bigger Legs Than I Do.



There is really nothing I can say positive about this woman. In fact, with all sarcasm and hyperbole aside, I would rather nail my privates to a board while I practice self immolation, than be subjected to this God forsaken commercial one more time. I sat here for thirty minutes trying to think of one thing that could be more ridiculous or appalling than her Direct TV upgrading proposal, but I'm still at a loss for words. The fact that she's rich and I'm not, makes me think God is making a stand up comedy routine of my life. I'm not laughing.

Saturday, November 22, 2008

I know it's over, but this is too funny to go uncovered...



"I decided to come back and vote a couple of times....I think that's against the law, but that's ok."

People, we are breeding ourselves into intellectual mediocrity. This is the day and age of reverse natural selection. Successful, intelligent people have children late in life due to so many years of school and commitment to careers, while morons of the lower echelon are breeding like rabbits. Nothing points this out better than the intro to a very stupid, but underrated comedy with Luke Wilson, Idiocracy.

This Girl Wouldn't Even Make It to Hollywood on American Idol.

Not only does this annoying broad look like a Hobbit, but she sounds like a gremlin when they've been fed after midnight. I'm actually convinced William Hung is a better singer than Orangeblossom Bunce of Brockenborings (This is her Hobbit name and you can generate your own here).

http://chriswetherell.com/hobbit/

Friday, November 21, 2008

I'm treading on thin ice here, but like always, what the hell.



So, to set the stage for this, I received an email from my friend Miller today and it read,

"Trey,

If I am to pass away unexpectedly, rather than wearing suits to my funeral I would prefer everyone wear the compulsory “commemorative clothing” fancied by the people in the link below."

I don't even think I can add to this...except for the fact that these "exceptional, stand up young men" stole the paddle boats in the middle of the night. Oh and also, despite the fact that the boats were stolen (illegal), before the bodies were in the ground the mother filed a wrongful death lawsuit against the camp. Whiskey Tango Foxtrot?!?! Tort Reform anyone? http://www.atra.org/

Here's the article, posted on the chicagobreakingnews.com.

The gathering of family, friends and classmates filled the seats inside Corbin Colonial Funeral Chapel, 5345 W. Madison St., and spilled into the lobby. Some wore clothing bearing the word "Royalty" -- a nickname for Adrian.

Speakers remembered the 16-year-old as a smart, caring person who valued family and friends. One of 12 siblings, the North Lawndale teen was a disciplined straight-A student and a junior lifeguard.

Longtime friend Michael Scott Jr. said Jones had talked of becoming a marine biologist.

"Growing up in North Lawndale, there aren't many young men who want to be marine biologists -- and have the ability to do it," Scott said.

Others who spoke during the funeral called on the young people there to honor Jones by getting a good education.

Jones and two of his classmates, Melvin Choice III, 17, and Jimmy Avant, 18, drowned last Friday in the river in Algonquin after sneaking out of a camp lodge and dragging paddle boats into the frigid, swift-moving water in the early-morning hours.

They didn't realize the boat's bottom plug had been removed for the winter. The boat, carrying two of the boys, rapidly filled with water and the boys went under.

A third boy jumped in the water and tried to rescue them. He, too, died.

The three were among 31 students from North Lawndale College Prep on the West Side who were on the last day of an eight-day ethical leadership retreat at Camp Algonquin.

Choice's mother, Virginia, filed a lawsuit in Cook County Circuit Court earlier this week asserting the school, the camp and the retreat organizer failed to secure the paddle boats or warn that the plugs on the bottom of the boats had been removed.

Named defendants were VisionQuest International, the Atlanta-based organization that organized the retreat; YMCA of McHenry County, which runs Camp Algonquin; and North Lawndale College Prep.

Funerals for Avant and Choice will be held Saturday.

-- Steve Schmadeke

Methuselah filibusters...

I don't know what the details of this speech are, whether it's a rant against dog fighting, or if it's some sort of filibuster; nonetheless, if this kind of indecipherable, abstract jibberish is commonplace in the Senate, influencing legislation, maybe I should run for Senate. When I get really drunk, I say stupid shit like this too.

Thanks again Boss.

Christy Lane or Megan Fox...gotta go Christy

Now we all know, well maybe not all, but most know I have a lot of free time since I'm on welfare. With government assistance comes many things but frivilous and disposable wealth typically isn't on that list (cough) Change 08, but I will personally give $2.61 to each person that orders this CD and doesn't have chronic halitosis, orthopedic shoes, walker with tennis balls, terrible lettuce, or a recent Bingo winning card from the local VFW. If you're still going to the toilet to relieve yourself and you bought this, I OFFICIALLY hate and want to kill you. That's not a euphemism.


103 years later, he's right...i guess...if you say so.


After 103 years of furious scribbling while trying to prove Einstein's theory of "special relativity," a handful of world renowned physicists from France, Germany, and Austria, with some help from the world's most elite computational supercomputers, have finally proven E=MC^2. I just reread that sentence and I'm lost. What the f&%* is a computational supercomputer? How does it take modern day scientists with supercomputer help 103 years to prove something a highschool dropout with hippie hair did for fun. If I were Albert Einstein, I would've probably killed myself because can you imagine how stupid he thought people were. Common everyday activities like proving Thurston's geometrization conjecture...I mean...like going to dinner with friends must have been torture.

Here is an excerpt from Wikipedia on his childhood. I bet he never got picked on, or shoved in a locker, or been given a wedgie, or got his books knocked out of his hands, or thumped in the ear....wait, what...that didn't happen to me?!?!?!

"In 1889, family friend Max Talmud, a medical student,[9] introduced the ten-year-old Einstein to key science, mathematics, and philosophy texts, including Kant's Critique of Pure Reason and Euclid's Elements (Einstein called it the "holy little geometry book").[9] From Euclid, Einstein began to understand deductive reasoning, and by the age of twelve, he had learned Euclidean geometry. Soon thereafter he began to investigate infinitesimal calculus."

Did that just say he mastered Geometry at 12 and moved on to infinisstitntkhdkmal calqueless? Holy Shit!

here's the article, if you dorks are interested.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/afp/20081120/sc_afp/sciencephysicseinstein_081120235605#full

**In my obvious excitement and haste, I forgot to send my shout out and I melevolently still didn't remember, but that's would my readers do...they remind me of their greatness.**

Thanks Boss...my apologies. You too, Whit, for the rapper article.

Thursday, November 20, 2008

Biggie Small and JUNIOR MAFIA some mark @$$ *itches...

In an article circulated by the Associated Press, the heights of human stupidity are once again surpassed...the culprit you ask...a rapper from Dublin, GA.

"He shot a man twice and felt so good about it, police say, a Georgia rapper wrote a song describing the shooting and calling out the victim by name.

A judge sentenced 25-year-old Rico Todriquez Wright of Dublin on Monday to spend the next 20 years in prison after his victim mentioned the hip-hop confession to police.

Chad Blue, 28, told police he had known Wright before the September 2006 shooting but they weren’t friendly. He testified companions egged Wright on as he chased and shot his victim in the thigh and groin. Later, Blue told police he recognized Wright’s voice on a CD, rapping “Chad Blue knows how I shoot.

Wright was sentenced to 20 years for two counts of aggravated assault. He will spend another 20 years on probation."

I have been sitting here trying to come up with something clever that I could relate to this level of idiocy, but much to my dismay, I think this is the single most stupid thing ever accomplished by human being. In fact, watching chimpanzees drink their own pee makes more sense to me than this story.

Thanks Whit...best story of the year thus far.

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

America keeps underwhelming me...

I'm not naive enough, nor blinded by partisan lines, to believe that conducting this interview in a rural conservative area, you wouldn't find the same ignorance, but this is incredible. The level of knowledge the average voter takes to the polling place is scary. Again, I hope to God that Obama leads this country into a promising future, but it does scare me when people like this are voting for him. Instead of calling poison control, watch the whole video in place of epicac syrup.

Stupid Oregon Woman in Desparate Need of Federal Bail Out Money...and Frontal Lobotomy.


Thank Jesus I read this story when I did. I was up late last night mortgaging everything and was on my way to wire the money to Nigeria when I stumbled across this story. God works in mysterious ways...that's for sure!!! Surely there must be some kind of misunderstanding. This can't be a scam. My relative in Nigeria needs only a little money in order to get back on his feet and he's gonna send me 20.5 million back in return of my good faith.

People this stupid should be stripped of their citizenship, their right to vote, drive an automobile, and be forced to spend the rest of their days in Guantamamo Bay harvesting tobacco which their forced to smoke. Let's face it, if this person is a nurse administrator and CPR teacher, I would rather die on the side of the road trying to start my own life saving IV's and administering CPR on myself, than be taken to her hospital.

**The picture isn't her, but I bet it looks like her, only skinnier.**


*Courtesy of Foxnews*
SWEET HOME, Ore. —

An Oregon woman who is out $400,000 after falling for a well-known Internet scam says she wasn't a sucker or an easy mark.

Janella Spears of Sweet Home says she simply became curious when she received an e-mail promising her $20.5 million if she would only help out a long-lost relative identified as J.B. Spears with a little money up front.

Spears told KATU-TV about the scammers' ability to identify her relative by name was persuasive.

"That's what got me to believe it," She said. "So, why wouldn't you send over $100?"

Spears, who is a nursing administrator and CPR teacher, said she mortgaged the house and took a lien out on the family car, and ran through her husband's retirement account.

"The retirement he was dreaming of — cruising and going around and seeing America — is pretty much gone for him right now," she said.

She estimates it will take two years to clear the debt that accumulated in the more than two years she spent sending money to con artists.

Her family and bank officials told her it was all a scam, she said, and begged her to stop, but she persisted because she became obsessed with getting paid.

The scheme is often called the "Nigerian scam" and it's familiar to many people with e-mail accounts. It still exists and it still works.

Spears first sent $100 through an untraceable wire service as directed by the scammers. Then, more multimillion dollar promises followed so long as she sent more money.

The scammers sent Spears official-looking documents and certificates from the Bank of Nigeria and the United Nations. President Bush and FBI Director Robert Mueller were also involved, the e-mails said, and needed her help.

They sent official-looking documents and certificates from the Bank of Nigeria and even from the United Nations, saying her payment was "guaranteed."

But it wasn't and now Spears is paying the price for her costly lesson.

"The hope is [other people] are not going to fall as hard as I fell," Spears said.

Magic Johnson just gained thirty more pounds...I just ordered a tanning bed.




Apparently scientists have given the middle finger to the AIDS virus and skin cancer as apparently both have had revolutionary breakthroughs over the past few weeks.

A scientist in Berlin, has cured a man infected with the AIDS virus for more than a decade by giving him a targeted bone marrow transplant. He's been clear of the disease for 20months. Although many scientits still have doubts about the validity of this incident and their ability to replecate the results, it's encouraging for promiscuous hollywood starlets and IV drug users everywhere.

Scientist in Australia, the mecca for melanoma and other forms of skin cancer per capita, have been working on a vaccination for skin cancer. It has been successful in animal trials and is expected to be moved in human testing within the year. The vaccine would work against squamous cell carcinoma, but not against melanoma. The vaccine works by targeting HPV Human Papilloma Virus, which is thought to be responsible for 5% of all cancers. In a related story, HPV is responsible for 100% of the aforementioned starlets' genital warts.

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Does anyone else see the obvious problem with this product...

If you're like me, you know what it's like to be kept up late battling your unrellenting insomnia by watching hours upon hours of mindless infomercials. Well, this is one that has hit the proverbial Grandslam of informercial production value. I was unsure of whether ot order this product, but when the three hot girls are standing 20 feet away at the party and say, "Isn't he cute...he just moved into the building." Yeah because everytime I pick up a trio of modelesque girls, it never fails, I'm wearing a supplemental auditory device 7 times larger than the largest Bluetooth, which we all know...has only gotten people unlaid.

Is anyone dumb enough to believe that every sound in a room isn't magnified to a level that will just be jibberish. Daily, I am shocked to see how stupid people spend their money. Long live Schadenfreude!

Acne Medications, Sea Donkeys, and Trust Funds Gather This Saturday...



Yale Bulldogs will make the trip down to Cambridge this weekend in a display of how rich white guys can run between the tackles, display horrendous athleticism, and have the second most Asians in a football stadium unless MIT and Cal Tech field a team next year. Due to the large number of students getting alcohol poisoning within the Ivy League, Havard and Yale officials agree to break up any tailgates partying past halftime. This just in, while I created this post, almost in unison, every memeber of fraternities in the SEC just turned up their Crown Royal and Coke and then sent all their resumes to IVY graduates.

**ANNOUNCEMENT**
In lieu of crowning the Homecoming Queen, the Harvard Finance Club will meet at halftime on the fifty yard line to discuss the Wicksellian Monetary Theory and it's importance in streamlining and regulating importation and trade.

Despite My Cantankerous View Toward a Bailout, This is Eye Opening.



My problem with this whole bailout proposal is the American Auto makers' approach to car manufacturing since the Japanese explosion of the late 70's and early 80's. Year after year sales revenues were in drastic decline, but American car makers weren't addressing the problems. American cars have fallen behind in fuel efficiency, safety, design, and thus popularity. They have continued to ask premium prices for generic quality. "The Big Three" have no one to blame but themselves. I feel for the hundreds of thousands of Americans that gave their blood, their sweat, and some, their lives for a pension that they thought would be secure. I can't imagine going to an assembly line and sweating for 25 years. These are the people that built this great nation one car at a time. American car makers should be held accountable. They need a drastic overhaul in their design and their distribution processes. The AIG bailout has shown American taxpayers that these corperations don't value our money. The iniquitous approach in which these executives execute their businesses has already been proven inefffective. Let's remember, they're coming to us for help. The car manufacturers are no different. Why should billions of hard to earn tax dollars go to bail out car makers that have been and will continue to give American consumers substandard quality and safety compared to their oversees competitors. They have ignored the needs of the American consumer for 25 years and there needs to be changes. My father worked on the assembly line at GM in the late 60's and early 70's. Cars were built to stand the test of time. They were big and full of muscle, but times have changed and their business model did not. I'm convinved people will buy American made vehicles, but they will not buy cars for equal value that exhibit substandard quality and reliability.



Albeit Michael Keaton, this is art imitating life.

Hell Freezes Over, Pelosi Has Multiple Orgasm


Drudge is reporting tonight that Hillary has accepted Obama's offer for Sec of State. This comes as a shock to me because I was almost sure Hillary Clinton was still locked in the bathroom cutting herself. I guess she and Bill decided a Cabinet position would increase her chances for a run in 2012 as opposed to staying in the Senate.

Would you rather:

Hillary Clinton or Madeline Albright

Jerry Yang steps down, board says YAHOO!


Jerry Yang, Co-Founder and CEO of Yahoo, stepped down after a short and obdurate tenure as CEO. He only cost shareholders somewhere in the neighborhood of 285 Centillion dollars(real number 303 zeros). The move was urged by large shareholders that want to punch him in the face for turning down the Microsoft offer of 44.6 Billion or 31.50/share. Since then the stock has fallen to around 8.00. One would think Yang is on many people's list of people to kill.

1. Oprah
2. Satan
3. David Hasselhoff
4. Sean Hannity and Bill Maher (same person) just opposite poles.

5. Jerry Yang.

Monday, November 17, 2008

Titsworth Kisses Guy....Could This Get Any Better?

There are so many gems of commentary in this video. Thank you Brad.

"Our crack production team has the Titsworth kiss."
"You do not kiss a fighter. 1 point...2 points...intentional."
"We will see the curse of the Titsworth kiss."
"Vargas did not like being kissed."
"Which prompted Vargas to knock the living shit out of em..."
"A lot of guys will do that when you kiss em."
"Although kissing has been ruled out, Titsworth shows he can still hug."
"A name like Titsworth, he's lucky he didn't feel him up."

Seriously, this video is beyond description. Just watch and listen like five times.....it gets better every time. Trust me.

Secretly Victoria and God Plan My Untimely Demise...



If I were to be within 300 miles of this location when this photo was taken, I'm more than 100% sure I would spontaneously combust and be featured on an episode of unsolved mysteries. The guy with the creepy voice would say something like, "And out of nowhere, Trey burst into flames. Scientists have no explanation."

**Foot Note**
Speaking of flames, the guy with his back turned in the picture....well isn't it obvious?

Human stupidity reaches epic low...

The only way this invention could be outdone would be if some hairy caveman created the wheel and fire in the same day. Even then, he would probably grunt like three times, gnaw on some sort of meat on a bone, and wish he had thought of this masterpiece sooner. This is simply a revolutionary mode of transportation. Move over car. Move over bike. Move over Segway. It's the...well...it's...kind of...you know it's a...

Thursday, November 13, 2008

You lost dipshit...give it a rest.



Alan Stuart Franken sued Thursday for access to the votes cast by rejected absentee voters. Marc Elias, Franken's lead attorney spoke of the intentions of the lawsuit.

"We are not suing to have these in the count. We are simply looking for the data so that we can identify people who were legal and lawful voters to ensure their ballots are counted."

Al...please stop harrassing the citizens of Minnesota. You're a moron. Everyone knows this. The fact that it's this close should make you wanna run through the streets naked. If I were you, I would've considered it a win if you won your own vote. Look at it on the bright side....losing this election can focus your attention on your real obsession, the fairness doctrine..

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

So what...I've got a lot of free time on my hands.

Ok. I was wishing tonight I could play old school Nintendo instead of the PS3 sitting under my television. I love Madden and NCAA Football of course, but nothing paralleled my raw athleticism like RBI Baseball, Tecmo Bowl/Ten Yard Fight and Double Dribble. Remember the three point line dunk?




AIG Execs Give the Middle Finger to the American Taxpayers...Again

In an attempt to be complete jackasses, execs for AIG were discovered visiting an elite resort in Phoenix last week just one day after asking for another 85 Billion and promising the lenders (me and you), and congress that they wouldn't spend any more money on weekends like this. Apparently, they had attempted to keep their soiree a secret from those rascals in the press by forbidding anyone at the resort from even uttering the word/letters AIG. Their plan would've worked if it weren't for those pesky kids and that dog. Scooby Dooby Doo...oh also pissed off, dead broke taxpayers.


Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Game Day Validates My Hatred...


I would give you all a guess as to where the ingenious television executives at ESPN decided to host College Game Day, but you'd never get it right. Many might think USC vs UF...you'd be wrong. Texas vs Kansas...nope. Ohio State vs Illinois...wrong again. Ok, to kill the suspense......drum roll......Tallahassee. Tallahassee....but not for the Noles. The idiots at Gameday are going to FAMU vs Hampton. This has to be a joke right? I thought the point of this pointless show was to visit a game that has national championship implications. Is Georgia Southern vs VMI next? ESPN, I wanna see Prairie View A&M. If it were 1916, I bet ESPN would televise GT vs Cumberland, which GT won 222-0. ESPN is the worst network, with the worst coverage, with the worst commentators. BTW, Hannah Storm is terrible. She's been out of sports too long. Go back to morning television. Don't feel too bad though Hannah...you're as good...err....or bad as the rest of your idiot colleagues.

Go Rattlesnakes!!!

Say what you want about the game...I'll be watching that band at halftime.

Hampton 5-4 (4-2 MEAC)
FAMU 7-3 (3-3 MEAC)
What the hell is the MEAC?

David Goggins...Patriot, Hero, Badass.


Thanks Chris for sharing this amazing story.

http://the100mileman.com/davidgoggins/
http://www.specialops.org/

The human body is capable of enduring unthinkable levels of pain and suffering. Few people push themselves to these limits. I've had the pleasure of knowing several people in the US Special Forces, both in the SEALs and in Delta. Those that know these people, know they're different. Things that make them tick aren't even found in normal people. They see life in a completely different way. In that way, failure is never an option. Never. After several tours in Iraq with Seal team 5, David Goggins devotes his free time, which isn't much, (sleeps no more than 3 hours a night), to running and raising money for fallen Special Forces heros and their families. I've spent the last hour reading about this amazing athlete/hero and I've never seen anything like him. He's a true inspiration and makes me proud to be part of America and even more proud that people like this are defending her. God Speed David Goggins!

Friday, November 7, 2008

If you're white, voting for Obama makes you a racist...or at least misguided.

Although many of the statements border on contradicting my previous post on Obama, this offers glorious insight on this election and the "post-racial promise."


It doesn't certainly make you a racist if you cast your vote for Obama, but it does, according to Shelby Steele, a black conservative columnist and fellow at Stanford University's Hoover Institution, make your decision less righteous than you thought. http://www.latimes.com/news/opinion/commentary/la-oe-steele5-2008nov05,0,6553798.story

Thursday, November 6, 2008

5 Things I Loathe About College Football

The Band


Let's face it. No one in the stadium, except for parents of the band members care about 250 people marching in unison. The Third Reiche is over. Go get a hot dog. Also, why do majorettes always wear knee braces and eat too much? Is this a contact sport I didn't know about? Stay in the stands and blow your horns when our team gets a first down or scores.

Fat/Walking Dead Coaches




If you're an dynamic, expolosive 18 year old African-American athlete, why on earth would you go to a school where the coach is an 80 year old white guy with no ability to relate to you. It's especially annoying when he's only staying in the game to chase another 80 year old white guy on the all-time win list. If you're an athlete of any race and someone like the walking refridgerator above comes into your house, would you let him in despite the chances of him dying of a massive heart attack on your couch?

The Always Awkward High Five


Is this ever done with grace and athleticism? NO. Never. If your hand goes up to meet another in an enthusiastic celebration, it almost always has FAIL written all over it.

The Ohio State

I cannot watch this Weak/Small/Slow Ten team lose another national championship game in blowout fashion. I'm so tired of the BCS lovefest, the Gameday/Herbstreit lovefest, and the middle America lovefest. This team is not good outside their conference. It's to the point where I almost feel sorry for them and their fans.

ESPN Colleege Gameday


Are people really getting up to watch these clowns? This show is such a joke for so many reasons. Mainly, the hosts...wait, especially, the hosts. I can't live another day if I have to endure someone tell me some urban legend about how one of their best friend's sister's friend's cousin slept with Herbstreit.
Even though I skip this stupidity, I'm forced to watch that moron, Corso, on 41 repeats of Sportscenter, reach under the desk for some moronic hat/hemlet/mask etc and act like a bumbling idiot. I can't take it...seriously.
Also, ESPN refuses to choose a gameday site that doesn't coincide with their broadcast. Gameday may be there for hyped up BYU/Boise St, meanwhile the whole country is tuned in to the real game, #1 vs #2. God I hate ESPN.

I hate ESPN, Stuart Scott, and I despise Chris Berman. His lettuce, what's left of it, is horrid. His played out catch phrases he's been using for nearly 20 years are not funny. I cannot stand to look at his khaki pants and his green sportcoats. This isn't the Master's winner. Stuart Scott tried his hardest to bring "street" to ESPN and ironically, Lou Holtz is more "street" than that guy. His wank eye he got from missing a football from a Jugs gun creeps me out. Yo, Stu...bro, the glasses don't help. OMG I hate this network! I have nothing left to say about these idiots. How is this network successful, seriously?

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

I leave you, hoping that the lamp of liberty will burn in your bosoms until there shall no longer be a doubt that all men are created free and equal.

This is one post that won’t be prefaced with some ironic or clever picture. This is dedicated to the millions of Americans that stood in lines and made their voices heard on Tuesday. Regardless of your ideologies, your race, gender, sexual orientation, or your party identification, we have a new President that has promised change to this great nation through unity and hope for a better tomorrow. What I promise to do is something that the democratic left hasn’t done in 8 years and that’s being righteous and respectful regardless of our differences. We as Americans, and Barack Obama as our President elect, deserves more class and fairness in our defeat than the liberal left has shown in their bitter tirades directed toward George W Bush and the GOP over the last 8 years. My guess is, even in victory, the hatred and intolerance they [liberals] speak so unfavorably of, will undoubtedly rear its ugly head. It’s this anger that’s dividing this country further and creating a landscape that is the direct antithesis of what Lincoln spoke about and Obama quoted in his victory speech:

“We are not enemies, but friends. We must not be enemies. Though passion may have strained it must not break our bonds of affection.”

There are bright spots on the immediate horizon, however. Race baiting and reverse discrimination are over. Never again can Jackson, Wright, Farrakhan, Sharpton, and others drum up hatred and perpetuate bigotry and prejudice in this country. Americans are better than for which people give them credit. We are better than our backward thinking bigotry of Selma, Alabama and the Mississippi murder of Emmett Till. We’re better than the reputation we’re given by ungrateful Europeans we’ve spilled our blood for in wars spanning centuries. We’re better than looking at a man’s skin color to determine the value of his character. I’m tired of Americans being accused otherwise. This day has revealed a new America. An America was revealed without pretenses and without prejudices. The nation spoke and it spoke clearly and loudly. Pulling away from injustice and tyranny was how this great nation was founded. Ironically, it has become our Renaissance.

The other bright spot in this election will be our renewed presence throughout the world. Another terrorist attack is eminent. The savage reality of religious zealots and hatred will show itself again. People have forgotten the anger and hatred laid upon us that horrific day in September, but Islamic extremist will remind us at every turn with every effort they can muster. Biden said Obama will be tested and I wholeheartedly and regretfully agree; however, when that dreadful day comes, we will have allies. We can stand abreast with other nations that have alienated themselves from us through the last 8 years because of alleged intolerance and bullying policies. We will see how long it takes for these countries to abandon us again in our time of peril and retribution. Time will tell. President elect Obama and his administration has a tough row to hoe moving into this time of conflict abroad and economic distress. Barack Obama has earned his place in the White House. It’s up to him, to earn his place in our nation’s history of great leadership and sound governing.

Tonight Millions of Americans Stopped Worrying About Mortgages and Gasoline...



**Correction**
Al Franken loses. I don't have to be ashamed anymore. I'm pretty sure I have to thank my Minnesotan friend, Aaron. Like P. Diddy, the omnipotence he felt in the voting booth allowed him to cast the deciding vote. In a related story, I wonder if Michelle Obama has still never been proud of her country?

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

Don't bother looking for Forrest Gump, you won't find him at this Black Panther Party...

I know if you think like me, you're going to watch this video and expect George Wallace to come out of the building, but this was actually filmed today (2008) in Philadelphia. This type of voter intimidation doesn't seem like it has a place in today's electoral process, but that one guy does have an uncanny resemblance to Chris Rock from CB4.

George Foreman Just Got Out-Endorsed

I watched this video 37 times and then immediately went to Target, Wal-Mart, and Best Buy and spent 29,384 dollars on Guitar Hero Games. Is it just me, or do those celebrity endorsements never work. BTW, over 40 million George Foreman grills have been sold since the mid 90's. That's nearly a half a billion dollars in revenue for those counting at home. Probably the most amazing celebrity endorsement of all time.

Pistons Make Best Trade of the Century...

The Detroit Pistons freed up like a billion dollars in cap room yesterday in a trade that sends McDyss, Chauncy Billups, and some other loser to Denver for Allen Iverson. Whether or not Iverson fits in around the Piston's locker room doesn't really matter. The whole point of this was to free up money to compete for Jesus, I mean Lebron James, Carlos Boozer, or Chris Bosh, in the free agency market...wait...am I writing about the NBA? Sorry guys. Who cares.

To regain your interest, this is Abigail Clancy. She's basically so pretty that it makes your loins combust.

Byron Leftwich Could Actually Hear Jags Fans Dropping Eff Bombs Monday Night...



After accomplishing essentially nothing other than proving that you can refuse to adjust your horrific QB mechanics in Jacksonville, Byron Leftwich gives all Jags fans a big middle finger on the national stage of Monday Night Football as he led the Steelers to a huge win over the Redskins after Big Ben's shoulder injury. In related news, James "Shack" Harris, General Manager of Jacksonville Jaguars just punched himself in the face.

Monday, November 3, 2008

The Aktors are so smart. They wreed lynes for a living.

Famed Seeking Sellout Fulfills Contractual Obligation....I Mean, Realizes They're Two Different People.



It appears another Bachelorette has realized she's a stupid tramp...I mean that she can do better...I mean that her 15 minutes was only like 3 and a half. Deanna Pappas and what's his name....broke off their engagement officially. In other breaking news, I changed the lightbulb in my closet this morning.

“They [liberals] feed your animosity toward the rich - as if a poor person can get you a job.”



If nothing else, this is interesting fiscal assessment of a contradictory party.

Sunday, November 2, 2008

Thanks, Brian, for making me ill...



I tried for 10 minutes to supplement this insanity with funny commentary, but I couldn't concentrate from all the crying and gagging. I actually never thought this day would come either. The "US Americans" have reached a new level of intellectual ineptitude.

Jean Shorts 49 UGA 10




Nothing else really even needs to be said.