Friday, January 29, 2010

Wish me luck!!!



I will be on hiatus from exposedandnaked for a week or so, unless those crazy Europeans have Wifi spots all around the countryside. I leave tomorrow night on Delta for England, and they better have a crap load of whiskey airplane bottles on board or I'm gonna get unruly. Sunday morning I'll be competing in the 2010 Toughguy Competition in 30-something degree weather. I'll be cold, wet, tired, muddy, thirsty, angry and did I mention cold, all the while sporting a Superman costume. I, of course, won't win, but no one will have a Superman jumpsuit on that creates a "situation" around the private area that no one wants to see...trust me on that. If I don't get arrested, it's gonna be really funny. Wish me luck!

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Yeah Mr President, I agree, this is basically your only hope.



There's been some speculation that President Obama will suggest a spending freeze during his State of the Union speech tomorrow night. Seems pretty convenient to me, Mr President. Wasn't it you that was responsible for the largest expansion of government since Wold War II? Wasn't it you that tried to force a robust and grossly irresponsible health care plan down our throats? All you've done since taking office is force tax payers into a constant ATM withdrawal. You've insisted that the only people contributing to the economy bear the burden of those that don't. Let's be honest Mr. President, that's been your position since your undergraduate years at Columbia. Your connections to Communism supporters are too strong to ignore. Your voting record speaks for itself. Expand government. Create dependence. Redistribute the wealth. Punish success. Reward mediocrity. That's not my America, Mr President. What's so funny to me is, not your actions prior to Scott Brown's election results because I knew what to expect. After all, I knew your voting record and knew you were a Socialist. What I find despicable is your actions since Scott Brown's election. For someone that says, "The one thing I am clear about is that I'd rather be a really good one-term President than a mediocre two-term President, and I believe that," I don't see a President continuing his unfavorable course of action. I don't see an elected offical dedicated to his course of action and his ideologies. Conversely, I see a President doing an "oh sh!t 180" and trying to gain some favorability. I see a President trying to throw a life preserver. In just two short weeks since that catastrophe in Mass, you changed from a bankrupting, money printing, ignore the populous Socialist, to someone planning a spending freeze. I'm not an expert on the Socialist mantra, but I'm pretty sure spending freezes aren't a part of the plan. The fact is Mr President, is that your Presidency, your legacy, your reputation, and your party are in grave danger. You doubted the power of a charged and focused voting democracy. You were too arrogant to think Independents would turn their backs on you. You refused to listen to the American people when they were screaming to the top of their lungs. Now, on the eve of your State of the Union speech, which can't contain anything besides promises of bipartisanship, you're left on the outside looking in at the American people. You're promises of Hope and Change haven't delivered. You're Utopian dreams of single payer health care was adamantly rejected. You're once omnipotent star power has faded like a shooting star over a bleak horizon. At least one dream will come true. You will be a one term President and you will be good...good at destroying the Democratic party.

Monday, January 25, 2010

You're gorgeous. I'm speechless.







The Screen Actors Guild Awards were last night. Basically the SAG Awards are just an opportunity for a large group of grossly overpaid, largely uneducated, narcissists to get together and tell each one another how awesome they are. "They" say that the SAG awards are more indicative of the Oscars and I say, they better be. Inglorious Basterds did well last night and was also the best film I saw made last year. Christoph Waltz, as a disparaging and insufferable member of the SS Guard, was flawless. Tarantino, again penned a masterpiece of witty and brilliantly laborous dialogue that left you begging for more. Ironically, the one shortfall was Pitt. His character was forced and unintentionally comical. To me, he was the one flaw of the whole film. I hope Tarantino gets one for Best Direction. He's long overdue and much deserving. Despite all the talk of Tarantino's baby, I couldn't care less. When Kate Hudson brings to the red carpet a dress like this, I can't think of anything except copulation and massive amounts of it. I've said before, she's one of the hottest in Hollywood. When she arrives at awards shows, other girls shoot daggers at her. She's an absolute rocket. This white dress makes me want to commit a crime. Seriously, thank you Kate. You made my day.

Saturday, January 23, 2010

Yeah, you're creepy.


If you want to know what sexual predators look like...look no further. Andy Dick, comedian(self-proclaimed)/douchebag/addict/sexual assaulter, is one of the most irrelevant people on earth. When VH1 Celebrity Rehab is considered a career boost, you're a loser. Andy, nice job groping men. You're actually quite lucky...it could've been me you groped and trust me, you'd be much safer in jail.

Friday, January 22, 2010

You're welcome, Daniel.














Look, I know love is blind, but the kid from Home Alone? Come on, Mila. You simply must do better. Like me for instance. Are muscle bound superheroes with a gift of love poetry not your thing? Obviously. Growing up in Ukraine must have been very taxing. I can see that it has clouded your vision and your ability to appreciate the finer things in life. It's ok, Mila. You're allowed to love. I know it's hard to understand how someone like me could love you, but I've realized, you can't run from love. The surreptitious advances, the cards signed with cut out newspaper letters, the singing telegrams, the life size build-a-bears, they have to stop. I'm so confused amidst all of the mixed signals. You either have to face your fears and jump, or you let me go. I just can't continue to put myself out there for you anymore. I'll wait to hear from you (Crying with hand telephone gesture to ear while mouthing the words, "Call me").

Thursday, January 21, 2010

Screw you, Glenn Beck.


Glenn Beck, who is nothing more than a political conspiracy theorist/satirist and recovering booze hound, made some incendiary comments on his radio show yesterday regarding Senator elect, Scott Brown. For me, it's people like Glenn Beck and Sean Hannity that make me absolutely loathe the Republican party. Fox has built the foundation for their programming on obvious right leaning commentators. Are the majority of main stream media members leftist bed wetters? Yes. Does America identify with Foxnews? Well, I guess, according to the ratings. For people like me, and statistically, the majority of this country, that consider themselves moderates and or third party/independents, it's people like this, programs like these, and comments like this, that make people on the right no different than the antics we cry about from the left and leave us essentially zero representation in Washington. I just don't understand the hype with Glenn Beck. I've tried to watch his show, but the gloom and doom left me loading a gun with feelings of eminent collapse and destruction. Granted, America isn't heading in the right direction, but people like Beck preach about the importance of this Brown election, yet when he wins a huge upset in a historically liberal state, he like a moth to the flame, must find something else to criticize, depress, and hyperbolize. Beck goes from supporter to opposer in < 24 hours. Luckily for Beck, positivity doesn't sell TV. Without further adieu, yesterday Glenn Beck was commenting on the awkward, head-scratching comments said by Sen Brown as he announced his daughters as, "Available."

“I want a chastity belt on this man,” he said, while his producer tried to justify Brown’s comments. “I want his every move watched in Washington. I don’t trust this guy…This one could end with a dead intern. I’m just saying, it could end with a dead intern.”

Look, any reasonable person can agree these comments were stewpid, but to say that an awkward comment spoken during a time of sheer elation and excitement about his adult daughters being single and available, is hardly indicative of him being a murderer or untrustworthy. Well, we know he's not trustworthy, he's in Washington. I get so tired of hyperbole. I'm more tired of Glenn Beck. If you tune into this clown, thanks for the voluntary litmus test, but it wasn't necessary. I already knew I was smarter than you.

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Change you can believe in...oops.



As I suspected, America spoke. They don't want health care reform. They don't want Socialism. In fact, they want their House and Senate back. They want to save our Republic. At the cost of the most democratic Senate seat in the country, America spoke loudly. If Ted Kennedy, a pioneer of health care reform, can't secure the victory, it's gonna be a an extremely awkward time for all Democrats looking to be reelected in the mid term elections. This will most certainly change the tune of the Obama presidency. I think you'll see a more interested, compassionate, and bi-partisan Barack Obama. It's funny, we'll finally see the person he pretended to be during the campaign and promised to be in his victory speech. Nothing is more scary than either party having a filibuster proof majority. The country's welfare has been spared. A robust and bankrupting health care reform might as well be started over from scratch because there's no way this legislation will pass now. Thank God for Massachusetts...never thought I'd say that when it comes to politics. I breathe an enormous sigh of relief.

Signed,

America

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Albert Hanyesworth wins Golden Globe






Just when I thought Precious couldn't be more inappropriately named, Mo'Nique walked the red carpet with a pack of mongoose attacking her legs. If this acting thing goes south after this movie, she could try her luck at the NFL combine. Is it too much to ask you to shave your barrel legs. I know you would've had to start 2 weeks ago, but you could show some respect to both people battling nausea and PETA. I would rather battle boils on my anus that be subjected to this defensive lineman recite lines for two hours.

Monday, January 18, 2010

Ed Shultz is first class D-BAG



If the socialist party can't hold on to Teddy's seat on Tuesday, the show is over for Obama and he knows it. This is an excerpt from Ed Shultz on MSNBC. This audio is a prime example of just how ridiculous this party has become. For shoving unwanted socialist agendas down the throat of Americans, I hope they get what they deserve.

Saturday, January 16, 2010

Lose some weight.


Look, I've heard precious is a good movie or whatever, but the chances of me sitting in a crowded movie theater for two hours watching this tub of lard recite lines while making tons of money doing it, is almost nill. Wtf is wrong with our country? We're so politically correct that we lie to ourselves and others by saying things like this sea donkey is beautiful. Let's be honest, nothing is beautiful about a 44 BMI. Nothing. If bedding this monster was imminent, I would do a cyanide whippet and if that didn't do the trick, I'd just cut my penis off because anything would be better than waking up next to this.

Friday, January 15, 2010

Dear Lord I love Brazil.



These are two test pictures of Alessandra Ambrosio. What's so damn inspiring about these pics is that she isn't trying at all, she has not one ounce of makeup on, and she still succeeded to ignite my underpants. If you're girlfriend is this hot, close your comic book, turn off Warcraft, because this isn't your girlfriend. This chick has no career path except modeling. In fact, in gradeschool, if she ever took one of those tests that predict what you'll be when you grow up, I bet hers said,
"(1)Supermodel,(2)Female Arch Nemesis,(3)Potential Marriage Assassin,(4)Cause for blindness in teenage boys." I honestly wouldn't care if she could hardly speak, much less balance a checkbook. I would steal from the Vatican to keep her showering in my bathroom. If she's not the most beautiful person in the world, you better kill me now because my heart can't take anymore.

Just give me some space...





Abigail Clancy is a 5'9" British goddess. Being a girl this hot in a world full of guys as obsessively sex starved ad thirsty as we must be better than being born a princess in a Disney movie. I bet she hasn't heard the word no in like 15 years, except for last Tuesday when she called on the blower feeling randy and wanted a wee bit of "how's your father." I'm tired of being used as a sex object. It's getting quite old in fact. I've gotten my leg over so many times with Abbey, it's becoming to be like an old dog. You still enjoy it from time to time and you don't want it to go away, although it sure doesn't do any of the fun stuff that it used to do. Anyway, these days it seems Abbey, that slapper, is fancying some daft footballer that looks like he's from Sudan. Don't cry for me Argentina, I'll be home riding some Brazilian or German consolation prize...it's my curse.

Thursday, January 14, 2010

Miep Gies 1909-2010


Miep Gies, who ensured the diary of Anne Frank did not fall into the hands of Nazis after the teen's arrest, has died. She was 100.

Gies was among a team of Dutch citizens who hid the Frank family of four and four others in a secret annex in Amsterdam, Netherlands, during World War II, according to her official Web site, which announced her death Monday. She worked as a secretary for Anne Frank's father, Otto, in the front side of the same Prinsengracht building.

The family stayed in the secret room from July 1942 until August 4, 1944, when they were arrested by Gestapo and Dutch police after being betrayed by an informant. Two of Gies' team were arrested that day, but she and her friend, Bep Voskuijl, were left behind -- and found 14-year-old Anne's papers.

"And there Bep and I saw Anne's diary papers lying on the floor. I said, 'Pick them up!' Bep stood there staring, frozen. I said, 'Pick them up! Pick them up!' We were afraid, but we did out best to collect all the papers," Gies said in a 1998 interview with The Anne Frank House in Amsterdam.

"Then we went downstairs. And there we stood, Bep and I. I asked, 'What now, Bep?' She answered, 'You're the oldest. You hold on to them. So I did."

"I didn't read Anne's diary papers. ... It's a good thing I didn't because if I had read them I would have had to burn them," she said in the 1998 interview. "Some of the information in them was dangerous."

The diary was sheltered in Gies' desk drawer and later turned over to Otto Frank when he returned after the war as the only surviving resident of the annex. Anne died at northern Germany's Bergen-Belsen concentration camp in 1945.

Despite the legendary hardship she endured during the German occupation, Gies never embraced the label of a hero.

"More than 20,000 Dutch people helped to hide Jews and others in need of hiding during those years. I willingly did what I could to help. My husband did as well. It was not enough," she says in the prologue of her memoirs, "Anne Frank Remembered: The Story of the Woman Who Helped to Hide the Frank Family."

"There is nothing special about me. I have never wanted special attention. I was only willing to do what was asked of me and what seemed necessary at the time."

Gies' husband, Jan, whom she married in 1941, died in 1993. The couple had a son together.

Miep Gies, is a hero despite how she wanted to be remembered. This is one of the most inspiring women you will ever encounter. This story is the epitome of heroism and goodness during a time when the world was being blanketed with a miasma of evil and genocide. Miep Gies' human spirit shines as a beacon for the others lost or trapped in hopelessness and tragedy. It's a shame that this amazing woman's life wasn't celebrated by the news media. Instead, I got an update on Tiger's penis spelunking and Harry Reid's incendiary comments regarding our President and his degree of melanin concentration. That's the problem with our world. Selfishness has created a portal to a world swept clean of any moral compass. To think a family or a group of familes, risking certain death, would conspire to hide Jewish families in their own homes during the Holocaust is beyond comprehension. A thousand lifetimes of courage and morality died with Miep Gies. She will forever be known as a hero.

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Nothing surprises me anymore.


The women who belong to Atlanta’s Gamma Gamma Chi sorority volunteer and participate in fund-raising activities across the metro area. They hang out and go to restaurants, movies, museums and cultural exhibits in town.

But the sisters won’t participate in some stereotypical components of Greek life — no drinking, partying or hooking up with men.

That’s because Gamma Gamma Chi Sorority Inc. is the country’s first Islamic-based sorority.

So let me see if I get this...

Sex-------->NO
Drinking--->NO
Partying--->NO

Bombs in Underwear------------------------------------>YES
Flying planes into building and killing thousands--------->YES
Behead US Military on video and post on Al Jazeera----->YES

This makes perfect sense...where do I sign up?

Los Angeles Jaguars?





Maybe I'm alone in this, but this weekend captivated me in regard to the NFL. Dallas puts a second smackdown on the overrated Eagles. A team that only beat one team with a winning record (Falcons without Ryan). Romo's monkey is off his back... for now at least. Also, Kurt Warner put on a clinic at the QB position. He had more touchdowns than incomplete passes and near perfect QB rating and he still almost lost. Green Bay have themselves a franchise QB that is young and great. Of all the teams left in the NFC, there are a list of superstar QB's left:

Romo
Warner
Brees
Farve

If that list bad asses can't sell TV ads, nothing can. Speaking of selling things...Jacksonville can't. They can't sell tickets because it's simply not an NFL town. They also have a horrendous product on the field. The front office have consistently taken the draft picks, covered their eyes with blindfolds, and picked wildly. They have a huge stadium they can't fill despite covering seats, except for the last Saturday in October, then it's standing room only with all seats open(GA/FL NCAA). It has been known by everyone with a clue that Jax cannot keep that team. Los Angeles is building a huge stadium, and with absolute certainty, will steal this team away from the apathetic Jaguar fans. It's so sad, most fans people of Jacksonville won't even realize. This is where the story gets ironic though. Since the resignation of Pete Carroll, there seems to be an open position in Southern California. Since Jack Del Rio probably won't keep his job and even if he does, he will almost certainly jump at the chance to coach his Alma mater in his home state. After all, I'd rather be homeless in Southern California than be the head coach for the Jacksonville Jaguars. USC has fielded at least two teams in the last decade that had more talent than the teams the JAGS front office has drafted. Del Rio would be a fool to pass this up and trust me, he won't.

Monday, January 11, 2010

Marlboros, Meth, and Michelob anyone?

Flights out of Jacksonville deliver such dramatic and unforseen entertainment. Seeing indigenous Floridians in their natural light habitat can be so rewarding. Just sit back and enjoy your flight.


Old Lady Goes Crazy During Landing - Watch more Funny Videos

Thursday, January 7, 2010

Lies Lies Lies


If someone told me in one year I would look back and see how far this country's governing body had done to move us toward socialism, I wouldn't have believed them. Sadly though, Obama and his goons have done just that. He's broken nearly every campaign promise that he uttered. I simply refuse to believe that the populous share the same ideologies as Barack Obama and Karl Marx. We're better than that. Big Government is not the remedy. Higher taxes do not stimulate economies. Here are some clips where Barack Obama promises to open the door to healthcare negotiations. He claims in this video he wants a bipartisan, open door effort. Well, the American people have gotten the direct opposite of that throughout your short tenure. I'm couldn't be more disappointed in Commander-in-Chief.

Mr. President, I thought you said something about no finger pointing...??


President Barack Obama told his security chiefs on Tuesday that the botched Christmas Day plane bombing was the result of a screw up by U.S. intelligence and that the country had barely dodged disaster, according to a quotation released by the White House.

"This was a screw up that could have been disastrous," the president said during a meeting in the White House situation room, according to the White House media office. "We dodged a bullet but just barely. It was averted by brave individuals not because the system worked and that is not acceptable. While there will be a tendency for finger pointing, I will not tolerate it."

No, Mr. President, the only "screw up" was putting our confidence in you to protect this great nation. I know you won't Hussein, but please acknowledge the real issue here. This is not about political strategy. This isn't a civil liberties issue. This isn't racism nor is it religious persecution. It's quite simple. It's called saving lives. It's about saving innocent, hard-working, law abiding, human lives of every country and faith. Muslim extremists are at war against the United States. It's time to start using a brain. It's time to stop sending my 80 year old grandmother through full body searches. It's time to stop searching a 5 year old girl's pajamas and her Dora the Explorer bookbag. A full body scan showing a family of four and their genitals isn't the answer. I know this sucks for honest people people of Islamic faith, but if the last 30 terrorists were Swedish with pale, pasty-white skin and blond hair, I would be more than happy to stand in a special line and be searched. In fact, I think it should be your moral and religious obligation, because unless you either have something to hide, or condone these abhorrent acts of cowardice and murder, separating these monsters from your faith is the only answer. Something has to change. We have to put our insensitivities aside and demand logical and competent safety measures. Mr President, if you had instituted racial profiling, the incident on Christmas day would've never happened. Instead, we get full body scanners, more radiation exposure, more stupid, thoughtless government TSA workers, yet ironically, less safety. Great Job Mr President. I can't wait to see what you do with health care. That should be a doozie.
P.S. Mr President, when you open your explanation about the incident on Dec 25 by saying it was the result of a screw up by US Intelligence...I'm not saying, I'm just saying...that's a perfect example of finger pointing, which I thought you weren't going to tolerate. You must have strayed from the teleprompter. Remember...stay on task. Just reed wut thay rite.

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

If the NBA shuts down would anyone really care?


A day after the Washington Wizards guard was photographed before a game in Philadelphia pointing his index fingers, as if they were guns, at his teammates, Stern warned the former All-Star that his conduct will "ultimately result in a substantial suspension, and perhaps worse."

With each game he misses, Arenas will lose about $147,200 of the $16.2 million he will earn this season in the second of a six-year, $111 million contract. The punishment came on his 28th birthday.

Arenas is under investigation by federal and local authorities after admittedly bringing guns to the locker room. Stern originally planned to wait to take action, but he tired of Arenas' behavior.

Tired of his behavior? How could that be? After allegedly pulling a real gun on his teammate, Arenas thinks it would be funny to point his fingers like guns at his teammates? What a self-entitled dipsh!t. I couldn't hate celebrities more if they gave me herpes. I honestly can't name one celebrity that seems genuine or thankful. If they weren't so good at being alters to display my sexual desires, Hollywood would be as insignificant as white crayons. My hope and dream is that David Stern would force Gilbert Arenas to clean the arenas where his team plays for the rest of the season. Don't be an ungrateful dick. You have a gift that allows to play a game. People that work hard everyday and probably can't afford tickets spend their hard earned money in order to take their kids to see you play because some punk ass like you is their favorite player. Kids line up to buy your jersey at the stadium because you're what the NBA markets as a superstar. Gilbert Arenas, you're a joke. Not to mention a dumbass.

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Haley Joel Osmond I love Christmas!!!!

Since the holidays are over, I wanted to take a moment to share some of my Christmas spirit with you all. Not many people know this, but Phipps Plaza, in Atlanta, has the real Santa. As you can imagine, due to this unique opportunity to meet the "real Santa", tickets are very very hot commodities. So hot in fact, I spent nearly four hours ignoring level 31 of Warcraft so I could win the bidding war for tickets on Ebay for 78.50. My mom captured the moment and I couldn't wait to share it with you.

Im in love with a seven foot blue monster






Avatar has been out like thirty minutes and has already made like a trillion dollars, but if you ask me, which you didn't, I think it sucks. It's simply the Liberal's mantra. If you don't hate America yet, three hours of 3-D with James Cameron will make you. If you refuse to see the anti-american sentiment, you'd be blind to miss the cliched "white guilt" that's been portrayed so effectively in movies throughout cinema i.e. Dances with Wolves, Amistad, Roots, etc. I know one thing that Avatar brought to my attention and for that, I am ever thankful. Zoe Saldana makes my heart go pitty pat. Even as a seven foot blue creature with a tail, I secretly wanted to make babies with her. This will be the break out star of 2010 and I couldn't be happier. In a time where Hollywood tries to force feed talentless, annoying, self indulgent pieces of uselessness, Zoe flies in to suspend my disbelief. I can't name many redeeming qualities of Avatar, but I can name her. (Whispering) Zoe (making phone gesture) call me.

Dubai, UAE...that didn't take long.


Dubai is set to open the world's tallest building Monday as the city seeks to revitalize its economy after a debt crisis in 2009 that forced the once-hot financial center to turn to neighboring Abu Dhabi for help.

The government hopes the unveiling of the 160-plus-story structure, Burj Dubai, will pierce the cloud that has lingered over Dubai since mid-December, when it received a second $10 billon bailout loan from Abu Dhabi, after unpaid bills prompted some creditors to abandon Dubai.

About 90 percent of units have been sold in Burj Dubai, which will welcome the first occupants of the Giorgio Armani residences in February and will open the world's first Armani Hotel in March.

Last month's bailout loan eased default concerns, but Dubai's reputation as a global financial center remains tarnished after the sloppy restructuring of Dubai World, the government-owned investment company, which was $22 billion in debt when it went bankrupt last year.

Economists say Dubai has fallen into a painful recession after years of 15 percent growth came to a halt as the real estate bubble burst. But some sectors of the economy continue to grow, and Dubai remains attractive as a services hub for the affluent Persian Gulf region.

-- Financial Times

As I've said before, I'm no economist, but if you couldn't see this coming, you're not very smart. Granted, this is coming from a person that's trying to sell a house in hell Florida, the worst real estate market in the Milky Way galaxy. When the world turns its back on oil for an alternative energy, Dubai will be no different than ancient ghost towns like Pompei and Atlantis. Other than my desire to spend New Years Eve 2010 in Dubai, I can't think of one reason a person as white as me would want to spend one night in a country that has a ban on sex and 130 degree heat. That would be the only hell I could conjure up that could be worse than the state of Florida.

Sunday, January 3, 2010

There's Blood in my alcohol stream...no seriously.


Marguerite Engle simply must have lost her focus. This South Dakota woman recorded a mind-boggling .708 blood alcohol content after being arrested earlier this month when a state trooper found her passed out behind the wheel of a stolen truck. Unfortunately since her life will soon be over, she could've at least taken solice in the fact that she had the US record, but she passed out too soon and missed it by only a fraction of a percent. You see, despite being nearly nine times over the state's .08 legal limit, she fell just short of the U.S intoxication record. That mark was set last year by an Oregon woman, also found passed out behind the wheel, who registered a .72 BAC. Engle's whopping BAC was measured by a Rapid City Police Department chemist who tested a blood sample drawn from Engle. This isn't Engle's first run in with the law, if the mug shot didn't tell you that. She was arrested earlier this year for assaulting a government employee and being intoxicated and disruptive. Engle was named in a two-count South Dakota Magistrate Court indictment charging her with driving under the influence and driving with a BAC beyond the .08 limit. A traffic ticket issued to Engle notes that she "bonded out-hospitalized". Holy crap! Bonded out-hospitalized? That's bad ass. Considering the body is normally .6 water and her BAC was .708, that creates a physiology problem that I can't even comprehend. These are Wikipedia's symptoms of BAC over .4:

>0.40
Unconsciousness
Death
Breathing
Heart Rate

I'm not a doctor, but i know breathing, death, and heart rate are pretty serious problems. If I ever start competing in drinking contests again like college, Engle's on my team. She's like Frank the Tank.