Showing posts with label gossip girl. Show all posts
Showing posts with label gossip girl. Show all posts

Friday, May 7, 2010

Blake Lively is kinda pretty...and by kinda...I mean VERY.




If you wake up everyday and stare into the mirror and looking back at you is someone on the Hills, pretending to be famous, your life sucks. It sucks mainly because you're on minute 14.8 of 15. Aside from that though, it sucks because you're a twenty something trying your best to exploit your 9 body and 6 face while hiding lack of talent, which by the way, isn't working...we can see you have no talent. I bet 100 dollars every one of those chicks, Audrina Cavallari, Heidi Port, Brody Conrad, or whatever their stupid names are, spend their nights sticking pins into voodoo dolls that look like Blake Lively. Honestly, she makes looking hot so simple. I would move 30 lbs of hot coals with my mouth for one chance to see her underpants. If your face and legs are this complimentary there's nothing you can be besides be the object of sexual starved men's fantasies. Not since Cindy Crawford has a mole on the face been more desirable. In the most creepy way imaginable, I look at it and wanna eat it like an M&M.

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Blake Lively wins.






Blake Lively is a genius. She's an "actor" on some show, i think. I'm really not sure, come to think of it. She could be the girl that denied me a credit card at the Express last Tuesday. What...she said it happens all the time. I didn't even want the thing. What's 10% anyway? Regardless, I couldn't pick out 2 things on this chick that I could relate to talent...well maybe two. Seriously, it's awesome when girls like this are aware of their skill set. It just seems so earnest and forthright. All girls should be this way. Nothing makes me more angry and confused than a gorgeous, voluptuous woman playing coy and covering everything up. If I wanted a riddle, I'd buy Laffy Taffy. You don't see me walking around all covered up, afraid to show off my goods. I share this gift with the world. Gather round ladies...