I just don't get it...

Christina Hendricks, of the Mad-Men-cult-following-fame, showed up to the Emmy's last night leaving people wondering why in the hell she's famous. I know I have a gift of reducing women to sundry anatomic metaphors, but are men so shallow that if someone has large breasts, they're instantly famous? I usually would unequivocally answer yes, but this chick? I simply can't buy that. This chick wouldn't be the hottest girl in any Atlanta area Waffle House at 3:23am on a random Wednesday. Seriously. There's hardly one attractive thing about her...and it's not even what you're thinking. It boggles my mind that you can give a girl red hair, bazookas, a hit show and a fancy dress and she's a sex symbol. There are 40 year old virgins that wouldn't have sex with this girl.

Mila Kunis put on a clinic at the Emmys

This should be a lesson to all Hollywood starlets that want to be famous and desired. This Ukrainian goddess just humiliated anyone that's ever been called beautiful. I really wanted to write about this right after the Emmy Awards a few days ago, but I've been incapable of looking at this picture without having violent seizures, blackouts (as I conveniently call them), and waking up to realize I need emergency skin grafts from what my psychiatrist informed me to call for the sake of my professional career, "extracurricular activities".