Thank you Kiev, Ukraine

Forgetting Sarah Marshall is proving to be impossible when Mila Kunis keeps doing photo shoots like this. Honest to God, I can't say enough about how happy I am that the communism collapse caused an exodus of smoking hot Eastern Europeans to the United States in search of fame and fortune; although sadly, or not, most of them end up in Van Nuys starring in films like Chitty Chitty Gang Bang. Regardless, we have to thank Reagan for girls like Mila Kunis. Without him outspending the USSR in the Cold War, we'd be left with boring run-of-the-mill American girls that do nothing to pique my interest. If you're more than 2nd generation American, you're invisible to me.

Mila Kunis put on a clinic at the Emmys

This should be a lesson to all Hollywood starlets that want to be famous and desired. This Ukrainian goddess just humiliated anyone that's ever been called beautiful. I really wanted to write about this right after the Emmy Awards a few days ago, but I've been incapable of looking at this picture without having violent seizures, blackouts (as I conveniently call them), and waking up to realize I need emergency skin grafts from what my psychiatrist informed me to call for the sake of my professional career, "extracurricular activities".