Macaulay's deal with devil just expired...

News broke today that surprised everyone, Mila Kunis and Macaulay Culkin broke up after 7 years of being together...and by surprised I mean, not surprised. I think she woke up one day and realized that over the last three years she has taken Hollywood by storm and has become a leading lady and meanwhile, her boyfriend's highlight was 20 years ago when he applied aftershave without facial hair and screamed intot he camera. Mila Kunis is so hot that she came to this country from Ukraine, learned english by watching The Price is Right, has only been in show business for a short time, and she's already 30x's more successful than Lindsay Lohan. Macaulay can live longer than those Asian dudes with the hairy moles and he'll look back at these 7 years as the greatest time of his life.

How you doin'?

If you're dead to me, then you probably haven't seen Forgetting Sarah Marshall. If you have seen that masterpiece of American comedy, then there's no doubt you're as in love with this Ukranian as I. Megan Fox's freckled, premature aging, tattooed body will look like elephant skin disguised with Botox in 10 years when she's playing in B or soft core movies on Skinemax still trying to make a living in Hollywood. Now I'm not saying that Mila Kunis is going to be an Oscar winner, but she will be hot, which is more than I can say for Megan's Narcissus Fox. The point is this...I would swim 300 yards underwater through a colloid of liposuction fat and mayonaise while being shot at by Macaulay Culkin for a chance encounter in a Kiev coffee shop with Mila Kunis.