Ahhhhhhhh!!!!!!! Mommie!!!!!!!

Someone the press is calling 23 year old Lindsay Lohan, showed up at the MTV awards last night to scare the shit out of everyone. If this girl is 23, my testes have a black belt in jiu-jitsu. My mom is 59 years old and looks 10 years younger than this chick. It would be more likely that I get stranded on a island with Kelly Brook and Cheryl Cole than this chick living to 30. She's aging in dog years, if dogs could get smoke and do drugs.

I rest my case pt. 3

I could try to pad this picture with witty commentary, but since every other blog in North America is completely infatuated with this chick, I would probably wake up with my website hacked and shut down with my dogs poisoned. The obsession with Megan Fox is like a brush fire. She's only hot because, based on the consensus, you're expected to think so. I can't provide anymore metaphors to equate my discontent for this overrated dipshit with heinous tattoos.

I rest my case pt. 2

If anyone wants to try to convince me that this is the best Hollywood has to offer, I will gladly give you directions to my house so you can challenge me to a duel to the death. Frankly, I've seen hotter girls at my grandmother's assisted living facility.