I'm not joking when I say this, but I have no clue who Ashley Greene is. In fact, until like two weeks ago, I had never heard her name. Now it doesn't bother me that someone slipped under my Who's Who in Hollywood Radar. What bothers me is she's a smokeshow and I haven't seen her covered by paparazzi idiots stalking stars and taking pictures. Are they telling me that I have to have be inundated Jon and Kate, Britney, and Lindsay, but I can't get a little of this? This chick is 91 times hotter than anyone I just named yet I've never heard of her. This just pisses me off. Well, here is Ashley Greene primarily because you're not gonna get her anywhere else. Thank me later.
Aside from its 426hp 6.1L V8 engine, the 2010 Brabus Mercedes-Benz Viano Lounge features a 32-inch LCD, two Sony VAIO laptops, a PlayStation 3, Nespresso machine, and even a Vertu Constellation phone. Unfortunately, this is just a concept...for now.
Mercedes released this prototype to remind the majority of the world that they don't want you to own their automobiles. Aspiring to create a G5 on wheels was a success because this thing is bad ass. This van could make a soccer magnet look good...ok maybe not, but I wouldn't mind my parents owning this thing.
"Hey mom. I'm gonna take Madison on a date Friday night...mind if I take the van?"
All I'm saying is that if my date started at 7:30, that van would be a love machine by 7:36.
Doing it for the Kids is a current exhibition to showcase the latest, most innovative sustainable toy designs from around the globe. Among them, the Placenta Teddy Bear by designer Alex Green. A crafty alternative for those who don’t necessarily want to eat their baby’s placenta, but want to pay their respects to the life sustaining organ by turning it into a one-of-a-kind teddy bear. Green’s ‘Twin Teddy Kit’ ‘celebrates the unity of the infant, the mother and the placenta,’ and enables preparation of the placenta so it may be transformed into a teddy bear. The placenta must be cut in half and rubbed with sea salt to cure it. After it is dried out, it is treated with an emulsifying mixture of tannin and egg yolk to make it soft and pliable. Then, you craft it into a teddy bear.
Holy crazy! Nothing about this is ok. Eating placentas are either for people that live in Berkeley and drive cars that run on vegetable oil or for people so self indulgent and off their rocker, they eat human organs and flesh. Either way, that's a bat shit crazy move. Now these idiots are taking it to another level. Is it not enough to canibalize your own baby's life sac, that you have to go Build-a-Bear? Building teddy bears with placentas is the creepiest thing since Scott Peterson. If you read this and think, "Aww...how sweet," please do us all a favor and OD on your Xanax Rx tonight.
Actors and actresses from Harrison Ford to Debra Winger have reportedly joined the growing throng of liberal celebrities calling for Polanski to be released following his arrest in Switzerland last week.
Studio kingpin Harvey Weinstein says he is leading the charge and "e-mailing everybody I know" to push for the swift release of his friend, whom he calls a "humanist" who has been the victim of a gross "miscarriage of justice" for more than three decades.
Scores of American film icons from Woody Allen to Martin Scorsese have signed a petition demanding "the immediate release of Roman Polanski," saying they were "dismayed" by his arrest.
Roman Polanski was 44 years old when he raped, YES RAPED, a 13 year old little girl. I don't care if this was consentual in nature. He was a person in power, a director, and someone that would be very impressionable on a child. He fed her quaaludes and champagne. He even had anal sex with this girl. She was 13 years old. People in Hollywood are calling him a humanist! Only in that God forsaken town could this happen. They gave this monster, this pedophile a standing ovation at the Oscars several years ago. What in the hell is wrong with these people? They're dismayed by his arrest? This coming from Woody Allen, a man that had a sexual relationship with and married his stepdaughter. I'll show you dismayed. If you drug, rape and sodomize my 13 year old daughter, I'm going to kill you. No border could protect you, Roman. You won't have to worry about Swiss extradition or movie making abroad. The only thing you'll have to worry about is judgement in front of your maker because you're days on this Earth would be numbered. Roman Polanski is a pedophile and a predator. I hope you burn. Hollywood is full of the sickest most out-of-touch individuals this world has to offer. My dream is to leave all these idiots competing in the job market. They aren't qualified to flip burgers.
I'm not sure who this girl is, but I think she was in a movie or something. Regardless, I think she's really underrated. If Katherine Heigl and Kirstin Dunst can be movie stars, this chick is like Helen of Troy. Anyway, she announced that she and her husband are divorcing. This probably happened when she woke up one morning, rolled over and looked at him. Then thought, I'm Emmy Rossum and I sleep with this? Then she tapped him on the shoulder to wake him.
"Honey, wake up. WAKE UP." "What? What is it?" "I'm hot. You're not. We're over. ok?"
People reports:
Siegel cites irreconcilable differences and seeks spousal support from Rossum, 23, according to the Sept. 25 filing in Los Angeles Superior Court. The couple had no children. Although no date of separation is listed on the divorce filing, a source says the pair split in August.
She's reportedly dating Counting Crows lead singer, Adam Duritz. This is essentially like a more talented Jewish equivalent to that ugly dude seen above. The amount of ass this dumpy guy has pulled rivals any dude in history. He looks like a walking double cheeseburger, yet he's dated Jennifer Aniston, Courtney Cox, Lara Flynn Boyle, Mary Louise Parker, Monica Potter, Samantha Mathis, Ivanka Trump, Winona Ryder, Teri Hatcher, Whitney Casey, Christina Applegate, Nicole Kidman, and Gwen Stefani. Yeah dude, I know. Holy crap were my words too. If having that stupid hair, which has to be fake and being Jewish lands you these, I'm converting.
For those who haven't experienced Vortex in Atlanta GA, I offer you a challenge if you ever go. Served at both locations, Little Five Points and Midtown, the Double Coronary Bypass Burger is one of the most amazing guilty pleasures you'll ever experience. It's the best 13 dollars I've ever spent. Here it is:
One-half pound of sirloin with lettuce and onion, topped with 4 slices of American cheese, 5 strips of bacon, and 2 fried eggs. Probably because you wouldn't survive the whole ordeal, the mayo is thankfully served on the side. Instead of buns, however, The Double Coronary is served between TWO GRILLED CHEESE SANDWICHES.
I know that sounds intimidating, but after a night of drinking, or a day of drinking for that matter, nothing hits the spot like this American culinary masterpiece. Don't be too scared though because the last time I had one, I didn't eat for three weeks...true story.
In a related story, if you're overweight, I'm sure you don't know this, but drinking Diet Coke will NOT offset this massive caloric intake.
Former Baywatch babe, Nicole Eggert, announced she'll be joining Celebrity Fit Club on VH1 this season. You may know Nicole from the 1992 movie, Blown Away, with Corey Haim. Corey Haim was never seen after that movie because I'm pretty sure she ate him. Someone needs to get to the bottom of this mystery because I really liked Corey Haim...especially when he played that kid on that show Different Strokes...wait, no, that was Gary Coleman. Nevermind.
In the wake of the horrific and cowardly violence toward an honor student walking home from school on the soutside of Chicago, pitching the Olympics might be a tough one. Obama can sell Ketchup to a woman in a white suit, but this, well, I'm gonna say no thank you, sir. Actually, I can see it now:
"We're going live to the southside of Chicago where, apparently, six Kenyan marathon runners have just been murdered by gangs for no apparent reason whatsoever...it appears they were just in the wrong place at the wrong time. Back to you Bob."
I don't know about you guys, but the 2016 Olympics in the Gaza Strip sounds safer than this place.
Let me preface by saying that this movie is stupid. That said, it's brilliant. Just watch the intro and if you don't want to immediately order this movie online, you probably fall into the category that is reproducing like rabbits and ruining human civilization one teenage pregnancy at a time.
I'm not sure what it is about England, but they just seem to turn out hot women like Taliban turn out terrorists. These days, when I see a picture of a hot girl and I don't know who it is, I can almost assume she's British. Most of you don't even know these chicks because unlike me, in your free time, you're probably putting on your bowling team uniform or trading comic books. It's dripping sexuality like this that is responsible for the success of the human race. These girls make the X chromosome jealous. I bet right now, Megan Fox is sitting in her bed beside Brian Austin Green and her prison tattoo kit wishing she had a quarter of what these chicks have. Hey Megan, better luck next time. Btw, you really were terrific on SNL. Just kidding, it was painful to watch.
Watching this video cracks me up. It's one thing that it's national Peace Day in Afghanistan, but it's another thing entirely when you've got Lennie from Of Mice and Men squeezing the life out of the dove before the release ceremony. Then the guy is either blind or stupid because after the head of the dove is slooped over in an obvious, "I'm dead" position, he decided to throw the bird up in the air for sh*ts and giggles. Call me crazy, but murdering peace doves on Peace Day doesn't send the message they intended...unless their message was, "We want peace, we want peace, OH I just killed you."
I despise the gator football team more than you can imagine, but that said, I couldn't wish an injury, especially a head injury on a guy like Tebow. Why in the hell is Urban Meyer playing Tebow with a lead like that? Is it worth ruining a kid's potential career and your season just to pad some stats and collect another Heisman Trophy? Regardless of my hatred, I hope he's ok. Afterall, if by some miracle equivalent to Jesus healing the crippled, we beat UF in October, it just won't be the same without beating him.
Sdorry abmnout posrting these pix...For safrtey reeasons, I handcufgfed both my hnds to thhje bedd postsa and I'm tyoio0ping thids withmy tonguye. IN csase yiou dont knkow, Marisaa Miller is hottr thban fire. I wold fihgt a rabid Griuzzley bear wirth a pipe cleaner and and rubbr band for one sloww song couple's skate wiht her.
Renee Zellweger 10 Million Drew Barrymore 12 Million Nicole Kidman 12 Million Reese Witherspoon 5 Million Sandra Bullock 15 Million Katherine Heigl 18 Million Cameron Diaz 20 Million Sarah Jessica Parker 23 Million Jennifer Aniston 23 Million Angelina Jolie 27 Million
This is the FOXNEWS top ten female earners in Hollywood. Only four of these chicks look better than your homecoming queen. Moreover, this is no joke, there's only two I would bang willingly. TWO...and that's even taking their money into consideration. The rest, i would have to be slipped a ruffie and hog tied with an HIV needle stuck to my skin. This is exactly how I know Hollywood is complete BS. You don't have to be pretty. You don't have to be talented. You either have to have someone famous to which you're married, or you apparently have to look like a bag of ass. Four of these chicks couldn't get laid by the 3rd chair Tuba player in your high school band. No kidding. Sarah Jessica Parker...I'm actually not even sure she's human. She looks like a mixture of death and herpes. I'd rather have sex with a meat grinder. Katherine Heigl...Holy Toledo, sex with an Amazonian Army Ant bed would be more enjoyable than that chain smoking gravel-donkey. To say that I hate Hollywood and everything it represents would be as understated as saying I hate Islamic terrorists or I hate complex carbohydrates. Hey Hollywood, suck it.
Quaid and his wife, Evi, were arrested Thursday afternoon in Marfa, Texas. A warrant for their arrest was issued Wednesday by the Santa Babara Police Department on charges of buglary because the duo reportedly skipped out on their hotel bill which was close to $10,000. According to the Sheriff who handled the arrest, Quaid was verbally and physically abusive to the officers, while his wife had to be wrestled to the ground. So far no additional charges have been filed for resisting arrest. To make matters worse for the Quaid version on Bonnie and Clyde, multiple hotels are coming forward with the same allegations. The couple is currently out of jail on a $20,000 bond.
Nice job cousin Eddie. This is life imitating art, or something. When the pinnacle of your career is playing an inbred cousin on National Lampoon's Vacation series, you know it's just a matter of time before you're arrested for burglary, resisting arrest, defrauding an innkeeper, and conspiracy. That time has come it appears. Something tells me Quaid is one of those method actors, like Brando or Deniro, who stay in character 24/7. Jesus, is there one Hollywood actor that's not one fry short of a happy meal? If being famous does this to you, I want to live in complete and total anonymity.
We're just a few weeks into my favorite time of the year. College football, thanks a little to ESPN, has exploded on a national scene. Now you've got games on TV nearly everyday of the week. Boise State, Utah, U. South FL, etc, are just a few of the breakout teams over the last few years. All of this expanding media coverage has made teams like these so much more competitive, while traditional powerhouse teams like Michigan and Notre Dame have suffered at the hands of athletic parity. Despite all of this though, college football in the south is as ridiculous as it's ever been. It seems like the only conference that doesn't suffer from the expanding national college football scene. The conference, like always, is loaded with superior athletes that are bigger faster and stronger than their competing conference counterparts. However, that's not why I write this piece. I write this to lament our defense. I watched the worst top 5 team ever hold the Gamecocks last night to 16 points. Our inept defensive coordinator gives up nearly a "fiddy spot." I'm so tired of our coach. You know, the coach we venerate so often. Well sometime Coach Richt, the guy that wins games is the guy that doesn't make excuses for poor coaching, or the guy that pisses people off and fires up his players on the sidelines. I can't stand Urban Meyer, but if we had two crystal trophies, I'd love him. I hate to make this sound like I detest Richt because I don't. I just need a little more swagger out of him. I need him to hold his coaching staff a little more accountable. What I need more is to hold a horrendous South Carolina team to under 25. What I need is for our turnover ratio to be better than -7. What I need is to look down at the sideline and see players fired up. I need that Richt that urges his players to storm the end zone in Jax two years ago...Not the coach that gives up 50-something and looks terrified. If you're not going to call offensive or defensive plays, at least be a figure head. Be a confident guy with a little swagger that motivates the hell out of his team. be the guy that hires good coaches and puts their foot to the fires. Until then, I won't be buying tickets at Sanford Stadium.
This was filmed around June 19, 2009 at the B. Bernice Young Elementary School in Burlington, NJ. If this doesn't scare you enough to pee your pants, you're not only a moron, but a socialist. This looks like the propaganda videos from WW2 Germany. "He said we must all lend a hand to make this country strong again," "He said we must lend a hand, to make sure everyone gets a chance." Are you freaking kidding me? Everyone has a chance. It's called work and education. This song is blatant evidence of indoctrination of our young children. It's simply forcing them to buy into an ideology that unless everyone shares wealth and responsibility, we can't survive. You know, I studied that once. It's called Communism. Piss off. This is America. I'm tired of you, Mr. President, going to foreign soil and apologizing for our country. I'm tired of you forcing ideologies down our throats that we don't want. Enjoy the next three years cause you don't stand a chance for re-election. I just hope it's not too late by then.
Mmm, mmm, mm!
Barack Hussein Obama He said that all must lend a hand [?] To make this country strong again Mmm, mmm, mm!
Barack Hussein Obama He said we must be clear today Equal work means equal pay Mmm, mmm, mm!
Barack Hussein Obama He said that we must take a stand To make sure everyone gets a chance Mmm, mmm, mm!
Barack Hussein Obama He said Red, Yellow, Black or White All are equal in his sight Mmm, mmm, mm!
Barack Hussein Obama Yes Mmm, mmm, mm!
Barack Hussein Obama
segue to
Hello, Mr. President we honor you today! For all your great accomplishments, we all [do? doth??] say "hooray!" Hooray Mr. President! You're number one! The first Black American to lead this great na-TION! Hooray, Mr. President something-something-some A-something-something-something-some economy is number one again! Hooray Mr. President, we're really proud of you! And the same for all Americans [in?] the great Red White and Blue! So something Mr. President we all just something-some, So here's a hearty hip-hooray a-something-something-some! Hip, hip hooray! (3x)
I know I'm about to make women sledgehammer their computers and completely explode their carotids, but if you're looking for an example of how dieting and exercise can wipe away baby weight, look here. Yes, Bulimia, genetics, vomiting, cocaine, and being a Brazilian sex goddess helps, but I'll tell you what doesn't and that's Bon Bons. I'm actually not even sure what Bon Bons are, but I do know when people are described sitting on the couch watching Oprah, they're often said to be eating Bon Bons. Regardless, neither of which, Oprah nor Bon Bons, describe what skinny people do. To be honest, it's your decision what you do with your life, but if you blow up like a whale, trust me on this, he doesn't, despite what you tell everyone, "Like his girl with meat on her bones" or "Love me just the way I am." If he had the inability to lie, he would really tell you, "I love you, but you're fat and I don't like to sex fat girls."
This should be a lesson to all Hollywood starlets that want to be famous and desired. This Ukrainian goddess just humiliated anyone that's ever been called beautiful. I really wanted to write about this right after the Emmy Awards a few days ago, but I've been incapable of looking at this picture without having violent seizures, blackouts (as I conveniently call them), and waking up to realize I need emergency skin grafts from what my psychiatrist informed me to call for the sake of my professional career, "extracurricular activities".
I'm really angry today. Primarily it's because I woke up at 5:30. However, you can probably attribute a lot of it to just being a prematurely bitter old man. Anyway, Anna Lynn McCord needs to go far far away. When she was on Nip/Tuck like two or three years ago, I thought she was, first of all hot, but secondly, that she had to be at least 30 years old. Well, like four years and a thousand blown kisses to the camera on the red carpet with her hand on her hip later, I find out she's like 17 years old and still as pointless and anonymous as ever. There's such ambivalence regarding the paparazzi. See, on one hand I think they expose Celebrity for the dip shits they truly are, when before, there was no way to really know. On the other hand, however, attention whores like AnnaWho here, Lindsay, Jessica, and God please forgive me, Heidi and Spencer, just get thrust to the tabloid and blogosphere forefront. I know it's not truly fame nor is it talent, but they are making money off this and it fills me with a fire that just can't be extinguished. Well, I can make this promise. Never again will I post a single thing on this broad. She already looks like a mix between a Vegas streetwalker and a South Beach tranny. Moreover, starring on 90210, regardless of the era, hasn't proven to provide a foundation for a long lasting and dynamic entertainment career...thank God. You have 13 minutes and counting.
