This is your Senate Majority Leader.

The Reno Gazette-Journal has a sit-down with Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid (D-Nev.), who addresses the Ted Kennedy question in a way only a power hungry democrat could.

Q: How will U.S. Sen. (Edward) Kennedy's death affect things?

A: I think it's going to help us. He hasn't been around for some time. We're going to have a new chairman of that committee, it'll be, I don't know for sure, but I think Sen. (Chris) Dodd, (D-Conn.). He has a right to take it. Either him or (U.S. Sen. Tom) Harkin, (D-Iowa), whichever one wants it can have it. I think he (Kennedy) will be a help. He's an inspiration for us. That was the issue of his life and he didn't get it done.

Did the Senate Majority Leader really say that Ted Kennedy's death would help them? These people have no concept of reality. They have no desire to do the will of the people. They have been listening to the mobs of angry Americans shout down this health care reform, but it doesn't matter. Obama's approval rating is 46%, and still falling, yet they continue to ignore the American public as they force their agenda through. This is simply a power play. It has nothing to do with helping anyone. It is the plan of the Obama administration to control energy (Cap and Trade), education (Teacher's Union), and Health Care. Once those positions are in play, the show is over folks. Wake the hell up and demand some backbone from your elected officials. If you're a conservative, you better ask them to reread their Republican oath. There hasn't been a true Republican since Reagan. If you don't agree with either party, call me, I'll welcome you with open arms to the only hope we have left(err RIGHT), the Libertarian Party. Between Reid, Pelosi, Boxer and Obama, this country is being turned into a septic tank that needs pumping.

Erin Andrews hasn't fooled me...

ESPN reporter Erin Andrews told Oprah Winfrey that she is looking forward to getting back to work, and putting the July incident in which she was secretly taped in a hotel room naked (which was then leaked onto the Internet) behind her.

Andrews told Oprah Winfrey she "opened up the computer [and] could feel my heart pounding," when she found out about what had occurred, describing the incident as a "nightmare."

So, here goes yet another obvious reason to hate so-called celebrities. Just like Paris, Kim Kardashindlkhdmighkjian, and other, "oops my sex tape leaked I'm so embarrassed" quasi stars out there, Erin Andrews has been on the tour of fame since her naked hotel video was leaked a few months ago. Granted, I don't know Erin Andrews, but I would bet she's light years beyond the aforementioned idiots in regard to character and integrity; nonetheless, I have a sneaky suspicion this incident follows the age old mantra, bad publicity is good publicity. For the record, I think the stolen tape is appalling and was definitely an inside job by some douche at ESPN. Still though, secretly, if she could take it back, I bet you a million dollars and eternal youth, she wouldn't. Three months ago, you could've asked anyone outside of the college football fan base who this chick was and maybe 1 out of 50 would've known her. Now, after a stupid naked video is leaked, she's on Oprah. Saying her heart was pounding as she opened her computer to watch the video is ridiculous. She may have been nervous, her heart may have been pounding, but it was only because she was hoping the video was filmed on one of her "skinny days." You know Erin, just be honest. In your recent GQ spread, you make it pretty obvious that you realize the importance of your sexuality and don't mind making the necessary sacrifices. I wish the interview would've gone something like this:

"You know Oprah, this sucks. I hope to catch the guy who filmed it because he's twisted, but I don't regret this whole ordeal. It's made me ridiculously famous and one step closer to my ultimate goal, Monday Night Football. Afterall, it's no secret I've based my whole career on being 80% hot and 20% talented. Look at the tape for heaven's sake. I'm hot. That's why college students and coaches love me. Thanks Oprah for this chance to explain myself. (Leans over to Oprah and whispers) "I love your show by the way.'"

Disney on Ice...

The only way this video could get less athletic would be if instead of the Jonas Brothers on stage, you had the woodwind section of your high school band on one side and the drama club on the other. I really don't think these guys are gay, but they're certainly not helping their case with videos like this one. If guys in penis costumes were bouncing around on those trampolines, it would be 8% less gay.

I'd rather have the Swine Flu

I haven't been subtle about how much I loathe this stupid broad. Mark my words, her career won't last more than 3 years. There's no way. Tara Reid has infinitely more talent than this chick. What's so ridiculous is how she never fails to tell you how amazing she is and how you can't resist her web of sexual desire. In the the latest issue of Cosmo this useless bimbo reminds me how much I can actually hate a human being.

Megan on commitment: "I have no problem with commitment — you can't have a real relationship without it. I can flip on a switch in my brain, and even if the next Brad Pitt is standing next to me, I won't look at him. But I can also turn that switch off, and then I collect attractive boys."

Megan on boys: "I never call them guys. I always called them boys. Maybe it's a superiority complex — my needing to keep them down."

Megan on being hit on by famous dudes: "It's fun when someone intends to put you in his back pocket, but instead, he walks away wounded. I make it a mind game, so they don't know if I'm hitting on them or mocking them. Male actors drop lines about their private jets, trying to seem powerful, but I don't give a shit. I don't need someone else's power. I'm obtaining my own."

Megan, babe, you're not obtaining power. The only thing you're obtaining is a ahort list of shitty movies on IMDB.COM. You're starring (cough) being cast as a hot body with minimal dialogue, thank God, in horrific movies. You made both Transformers almost unwatchable and they're both filled with Transformers and explosions which happen to be two of my favorite things ever. Your acting talent, or lack thereof, is beyond words. You make Ben Affleck look like Marlon Brando. Telling people you're awesome doesn't make you awesome. It makes you stupid. Jennifer's Body will be a winner opening weekend because kids are stupid and love stupid movies, but after week two, crash and burn. The reason I hate Hollywood is because people like this are famous. If you disagree with me on who's hotter, Angelina Jolie or Megan Fox, consider this...

Angelina Jolie is married to Brad Pitt.

Megan Fox dates Brian Austin Green.


Case closed. I win.

Mega Millions

In a dream last night, I had a vision that spoke to me. I can’t be sure, but I’m pretty sure it was God. Being such a clever, all-knowing and ubiquitous God, he took the form of Heidi Klum, so it was really easy to keep my attention. During this dream, God informed me that no one has won the mega millions in the last few weeks because it was his intention raise the jackpot because 252 million, according to him, “wasn’t enough to completely fulfill my dreams.” Of course, I humbly agreed. As you can imagine, I was overwhelmed by the magnanimous offer and I woke up weeping in a pool of sweat. Again, as of tonight at 11:01pm EST, this blog will shut down due to the great people of Mega Millions and their grotesquely generous donation of 333 million dollars to fund my capricious lifestyle, my minimal philanthropies, and absurd social calendar.

Sincerely,


Trey



UPDATE: I didn't win. See you Monday.

Madonna sucks.

A few nights ago, Madonna was playing in Bucharest. First of all, I have no idea where in the hell that is or if it is even a real place. To me, it could be as fictional as Camelot or Krypton. Regardless, Madonna was on stage doing what she does best, making people hate her. During the middle of her performance she used her infinite wisdom and superiority to teach the crowd a lesson about the tolerance of gypsies. Again, following a similar theme, I have no idea what a gypsy is or what one does, but apparently the people of Bucharest hate them a don’t hesitate to remind Madonna that she’s a washed up pop singer with a poor man’s imitation British accent, and not Ghandi. Being hated more than Madonna has to be nearly impossible. When you can’t keep people in Bucharest from booing you, your career is over. I mean hell, there can’t be more than like three people in the crowd that speak English. Of those three, 1 might know more than one of her wretched songs. My hatred for her runs so deep that if tomorrow she were eaten alive by a pet bear in Bucharest, I would dedicate my life to the discrimination of gypsies and the prosperity of the great people of Bucharest.

FAIL


Fat Girl Faceplants Off a Mechanical Bull - Watch more Funny Videos

Guess who won't leave me alone...?

I love her sunglasses...

Being able to call Kelly Brook your girlfriend must be the equivalent of having a golden penis that prints money and ages you backwards. Seriously, even if you're gay, there's no way you don't want to have sex with this woman. If you don't, to me, you're not significant enough for me to acknowledge your existence.

Tonight is my last night as a member of the proletariat

Tonight, I lament to inform you that as of 11:01 tonight, this blog will shut down. I would continue, but considering my Satellite phone won't allow internet access while my yacht is ported in Monte Carlo, it's going to prove difficult. I would like to thank all the staff at the Georgia Lottery for allowing this to happen. I'm officially 252 million dollars richer...which makes me a badass.

Roger Federer is like third chair claironet compared to Andy Roddick...

I'm not the first genius to make analogous a man's success or life's accomplishments, to the woman he's capable of scoring. Based on this logic, Tennis titles mean nothing. Federer dominating Roddick on the court simply doesn't matter. What matters is Federer couldn't score Brooklyn Decker with 15 Grad Slam titles. Instead, he scores this. Now, I'm not trying to be a dick (wait, maybe I am), but nonetheless, she's cute. To my point, 15 Grand Slams gets you that, but being Andy Roddick gets you this. Andy, it's ok, in the game of life, you win...BIG.

In the words of Harry S Truman, "If you can’t convince ‘em, confuse ‘em."

Ashlee, I'm not sure what your goal was wearing this dress to the InStyle party, but I'm pretty sure if it had anything to do with casting a spell on me, mission accomplished. I've had this picture since Thursday and every night I open and stare at it for 10 minutes contemplating a witty commentary that convinces me that I'm going to snap out of the trance that leaves me desperate to have sex with her. I know I should be embarrassed, but I can't help it. I'm a victim of her witchcraft, which I can say closely resembles the fast twitching seizures from True Blood. Being that I'm completely bound by spells of the darkside, I can only say her red (ish) hair and smoking sticks make me dizzy with a testosterone and black magic fueled euphoria that can only be quinched with an exorcism or a bottle of Cristal and night in the Sky Villas at the Palms Hotel.

Inglorious Basterds

I spent Sunday afternoon at the movies with 300 people that have apparently spent the majority of their adult lives gorging themselves to morbid obesity at the Golden Corral Buffet. That's not really the point of this story other than on both sides of me, I couldn't tell whether the whale sharks were sleeping and snoring or if it was just their tortured diaphram expending labored and deafening breaths.

Inglorious Basterds was Tarintino at his best since Pulp Fiction. I know that pretentious movie critics have been and will continue to bash this movie, but don't listen to them. Basterds was full of the enthusiastic and comical violence and the fanstically witty and brisk dialougue we all love in his films. Its violence was disgustingly awesome and the character development, weaved into a perfectly timed revealing web of the storyline...wait a minute...if I ever write this shit again, I'll shut this site down, hang myself with my vas deferens, never to write again. I hate it when I forget how to be awesome. I'm going to go cut so I can stop the pain.

Why is God so cruel?

Not only is Mila Kunis single handedly responsible for the success of Forgetting Sarah Marshall, but she's about to absolutely blow up as a leading lady in young Hollywood. Mike Judge's new movie, Extract, looks originally funny, but most importantly, exposes Mila at her very best. To top that off though, news sources released reports that Mila will star along with Natalie Portman in a movie about two rival ballet students. Now that sentence about ballet would normally make my penis pack its clothes and find another home, but in this movie, there is reportedly a scene in which the two actresses engage in, "ecstasy-induced hungry aggressive angry sex." Now I'm not one to exaggerate anything, but if this movie delivers on its promises, there is no chance I can go to the theaters to watch this without being arrested and having lewd and lascivious somewhere in my sundry list of predatory and sexually explicit charges. I would share needles with Magic Johnson in exchange for one day holding the microphone during the filming of this scene. Macaulay Culkin landing this Ukrainian goddess is simply cruelty poured on my sinking testosterone and lit on fire.

Kanye West is the bane of my existence.

Kanye West and his girlfriend, Tito Ortiz, were in Miami and these pictures were taken as he showed off his vomitous derriere and butcher shop implants. Seriously, Tito...if you're planning on making a comeback to UFC...you might wanna mix in a squat or lunge every now and then.

Semen...ya (no irony there)

South African Caster Semenya, 18, had to take a gender test after doubts were raised about her sex.
But despite the furore, she easily took gold in the final in Berlin.

The teenage sensation has sparked controversy over her strikingly muscular physique.
Today officials at the world athletics body, the IAAF, revealed that it ordered her to take a gender test three weeks ago.

IAAF spokesman Nick Davies confirmed the tests were taking place, though he said the results would not be confirmed for several weeks.



I'm not sure what the argument is here because there is a 0% chance this person was born with a vagina. I haven't seen a DUDE more jacked since Ben Johnson took the blocks in Seoul in the 1988 Olympics and he was juiced out of his mind. Look, I'm not sure who investigates this kind of thing, but seriously, save your money...1-800-chixwdix.

Dear Timmy,

I conceed you're an amazing talent. I conceed you have a remarkable moral compass. But dude, WTF is this? Are you seriously shirtless in the clouds in Ben Hill Griffin? Looking at this picture makes me think I've jumped into Sigfreid and Roy's wet dreams. Gimme a G-A-Y-T-O-R-S!!!

Captain obvious.

Forty percent of the messages on Twitter are "pointless babble" along the lines of "I am eating a sandwich now," according to a study conducted by a US market research firm.

Pear Analytics, based in San Antonio, Texas, said that it randomly sampled 2,000 messages from the public stream of Twitter and separated them into six categories.

The categories were: news, spam, self-promotion, pointless babble, conversational and pass-along value.

Pear said "pointless babble" accounted for 811 "tweets" or 40.55 percent of the total number of messages sampled.


In a related story, a market research firm (read-->Trey) studied people that update their facebook status and found that 99.7% were dorks.

Least surprising statement ever spoken..ever.

JACKSONVILLE, Fla. (AP) - Researchers say Florida's population has declined for the first time in 63 years and economists are blaming - what else? - the recession.

The head of the University of Florida's Bureau of Economic and Business Research says Monday that the state's total population dropped by 58,000 in the past year. It's the first decline since large numbers of military personnel left the state in 1946 after World War II.

Bureau director Stan Smith says not as many people are moving to the Sunshine State since its tax revenues have plunged and it has seen jobs leave. Would-be Floridians also are finding themselves stuck in homes that they can't sell, so they can't afford the move.



Hey Stan, NO SHIT.

occifer I'm sotally tober.

JANESVILLE — A man whose blood alcohol level was more than five times the legal definition of intoxication apparently tried to make a getaway attempt in a squad car Aug. 7, according to a report from the Rock County Sheriff’s Office.

Deputies responded at 11:22 p.m. to an anonymous complaint and found 30 to 40 cars parked outside, the report says. Several vehicles were leaving the scene when deputies arrived. The house was dark and no one would come out, the report says.

As a deputy peered inside, a 20-year-old Janesville man walked out of a cornfield, the report says. The man admitted he’d been drinking, and deputies put him in the back seat of a squad car.

A few minutes later, Deputy Matthew Jacobson heard the squad car’s alarm going off and saw the 20-year-old man in the driver’s seat. When asked where he was going, the man said he wanted to go back with his friends. He was cited for obstructing a police officer, handcuffed and put in the back seat.

The man submitted to a breath test and blew a 0.41, more than five times the level considered intoxicated, the report says. Jacobson thought the result might be a mistake, so he had the man take another test with a different breath-testing machine, resulting in a 0.38 reading.

When contacted Friday, the man said he wasn’t sure how much he drank that night but estimated “a couple of cups” of beer. He said he thinks the breath tests were inaccurate. He denied making an escape attempt but admitted he didn’t remember everything that happened that night.

Dude...wow. Seriously, a .41? Then a .38 after you try to steal the cop car? Yeah you had a couple of cups of beer alright, right before you did a 60 second keg stand, right before you ate the entire watermelon injected with Golden Grain, right before you had 7 shots of Absinthe, right before you ate the worm at the bottom of the Mezcal bottle. This is your classic high school drunk little shit. I would bet $100.00 this kid lives with his mom and run all over her. His dad doesn't get much time with him because they're divorced and he works all the time and lives in another state, so when they're together, he just tries to buy his love. This kid could cry for hours on a leather couch about how he's never been good enough for his father, but instead, he just drinks his ass off. My favorite part of the story is that he denied attempting to escape in the squad car, but can't remember anything that happened that night. If this were my kid, the only way he would be bailed out of jail would be by the bus en route to military school.