ESPN reports Tom Brady weds Gisele Bundchen

Thomas, dude, come on. She looks like a dude. You're locked into this tranny forever. So disappointed. Your mojo just jumped out of your body and ran a 3.2 40 straight to Matt Cassel's house. Brady, you just jumped the shark. She's not even the prettiest girl at your games on Sunday. In three years, don't say I didn't warn you.

Tom Brady has added to his collection of rings.

The New England Patriots quarterback and supermodel Gisele Bundchen, his girlfriend of three years, married Thursday in Los Angeles, Us Weekly reported on its Web site.

The ceremony was "very small and intimate," Us Weekly reported, with the guest list mostly consisting of immediate family. Brady's son with ex-girlfriend Bridget Moynahan was also in attendance, according to the report.

Dolce & Gabbana reportedly dressed the wedding party, with Bundchen wearing a gown from the design house and her three dogs wearing matching lace collars.

Forbes.com reported last May that Bundchen was the world's highest-paid supermodel, with estimated annual earnings of $35 million.

Viagra Kills People

A Russian man died after guzzling a bottle of Viagra to keep him going for a 12-hour orgy with two female pals.

The women had bet mechanic Sergey Tuganov $4,300 that he wouldn’t be able to follow through with the half-day sex marathon.

But minutes after winning the bet, the 28-year-old died of a heart attack, Moscow police said.

“We called emergency services but it was too late, there was nothing they could do,” said one of the female participants who identified herself only as Alina.

Let me gather my bearings, "Alina," as we'll call her, was only "ONE" of the particpants? And the group banged a 28 year old man to death..and bet on it? Wow. Just Wow. With the growing teenage pregancy rate, this totally sounds like something that should be printed in the Florida Times-Union.

I just had a myocardial infarction...

If you're blonde and you wanna be even more sexy, make this face. If I were a poligamist or a Muslim and these two women were in my harem, I would, without a doubt be on welfare, because the odds of me leaving the master bedroom of my house would be worse than hitting the powerball and megamillion in the same week.

who's surprised...raise their hands...what...no hands?

"I am very surprised, frankly, at this statement from the United States government and from the secretary of state," said Mortimer Zuckerman, publisher of the New York Daily News and member of the NYC Jewish Community Relations Council.

"I liked her a lot more as a senator from New York," Assemblyman Dov Hikind, D-Brooklyn, said. "Now, I wonder as I used to wonder who the real Hillary Clinton is."

Funny, Mr. Zuckerman, I've been wondering who the real Hillary is for nearly 17 years. Whether it was her involvement in protesting the trial of muderous members of the radical Black Panther Party, or her summer internship with former communist and hardline Stalinist, attorney Robert Treuhaft, in Berkeley CA. If that's not enough to fill you in about Hillary's dream job's boss, this will do it:

"Treuhaft is a man who dedicated his entire legal career to advancing the agenda of the Soviet Communist Party and the KGB," notes historian Stephen Schwartz."

Mr. Zuckerman, I completely understand the enigma created by the two most dedicated people in history to power, politics, and the Presidency, Bill and Hillary Clinton. Remember that democracy life cylce thing. Well, as I said before, we're somewhere on the downside of complacency and apathy.

A democracy cannot exist as a permanent form of government. It can only exist until the voters discover that they can vote themselves largess from the public treasury. From that time on the majority always votes for the candidates promising the most benefits from the public treasury, with the results that a democracy always collapses over loose fiscal policy, always followed by a dictatorship. The average age of the world's great civilizations has been 200 years.

These nations have progressed through this sequence:
from bondage to spiritual faith
from spiritual faith to great courage
from courage to liberty
from liberty to abundance
from abundance to selfishness
from selfishness to complacency
from complacency to apathy
from apathy to dependency
from dependency back to bondage.
-- Alexander Fraser Tytler (1742-1813)

This is a perfect example of why MSNBC is completely irrelevent.

How either of these people have shows, is beyond me. They're the left wing equivalent of Sean Hannity...i guess...if you can say Air America was the left wing equivalent of Limbaugh and Hannity, which you can't. I only know Keith Olberman because of Sportscenter in the early 90's and the chick...no clue. I swear to you I've never even seen her before. By watching her retort and assessment of Gov Jindal's speech, I know now why they're nearly dead last in the news ratings.

David Brooks and New York Times are sinking ships...

David Brooks, of the New York Times, is the most unbiased, honorable, unpartisan news source there has ever been. I espcially like his slip up at :32 seconds, when he mistakenly slips up and "outs" himself as a democrat opposed to the sheer existence of anyone right of the delieverer, Obama. Also again at the 1:00 mark when he says, "some people thought they got too moderate, other people (I, David Brooks) thought they got too weird." This guy is a joke and the reason that almost every major newspaper in the country is failing. Mainstream media outlets are so skewed in this country. To not see this, is a blatant and undeniable admittance to be a card carrying, anti-capitalist liberal. I guess it's not so bad though, our President rides the same socialism/income redistribution train.

Oh David, one more thing, speaking of disasters for parties, the only one I see is your shirt and tie.

In the prime of her life...in her dreams.

It's amazing what people will do to be on television. For those that have seen Prince of Tides, I guess you could say the same about me, but at least it was a movie and not a soul selling, pride depleting, sexually exploitative, cougar chasing reality show. These clowns are exchanging their pride for a chance to make out with a 40 year old over-the-hill pitiful excuse for a mother of four. Can you imagine the issues that her kids will have? She should just send them to live with octo-mom. It would be equally destructive. To say that this chick is in her prime is a stretch and by stretch I mean her birth canal. After four kids, that's the only flesh eating cougar on this show.

Awww...Octo-Mom is worried

LOS ANGELES — Nadya Suleman has voiced concern that the hospital where her octuplets are being cared for may prevent her from taking them home when they're healthy enough in coming weeks.

But in reality, hospitals don't prevent healthy children from going home — child protective services do.

And that's only if a complaint has been filed. Hospital employees are mandated to report to county authorities any concerns they have about unsuitable home environments, a mother's emotional or psychological instability, or any other situation that could result in harm to a child.

The only thing that the hospital should take away from this freak show is her uterus. I would rather send my son on a camping trip with O.J. Simpson and Michael Jackson than let this woman within 100 feet of him. This Coo-Coo Bird can't be reached dialing long distance. She is a classic case of Disassociative Identity Disorder...this creepy obsession with Angelina Jolie to the point where she neeglects her families needs in order to reconstruct her already and still busted face is just laughable. I wish this girl would go to that doctor Penny went to from Dirty Dancing. He would certainly be doing the American Taxpayers a favor. Her dad went on Oprah and spoke out against her daughter and even questioned her mental stability. When your parents hate you, you know you've failed at life. Afterall, my parents love me. They dropped me off at the arcade in 1989, but mom said she'd be back. I know she will. She's never let me down. Hpe she comes soon...I'm on my last life on Galaga.

Being this hot is almost a curse.

Cheryl Tweedy delievers time and time again. She could wear a burlap sack with those spring loaded eyeball clown glasses and Ronald McDonald shoes and I'd still walk seven miles on hot coals while battling fire breathing dragons and evil wizards for an opportunity to stand next to her in the supermarket.

Pack a suitcase when you travel like this...

Duke basketball makes me sick. Yeah, they're well coached. Yeah, they get great talent. Yeah, they play great man to man defense. But, holy crap, they get every call imaginable. Coach K could rape and sodomize the starting five at midcourt just after tip-off and somehow the zebras would give quintuple technicals to the opposing team. When you take as many steps as this guy, you need a suitcase. He moved four feet on the floor right beside the official and nothing was called. Unbelievable. referees destroy sports on almost every level.

Her pants are the only thing falling...it's certainly not her cholesterol.

Television chefs (if you can even call her that) never cease to amaze me. Paula Dean's restaurant in Savannah is a basic Golden Corral pig trough buffet, except there's an hour wait. An hour wait for canned vegetables and poorly made biscuits. I guess morbid obesity and a labored, hyperbolized southern accent sells food whether it's good or not.

PD: "Gawd, Ya'll. This is gunna be so goood. HAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!! HAAAAAAA!!!! WHEW!!! Way-el, it's one of my original recipes. I call it Chatham cheese and noodles."

Audience Member: "Paula isn't that just mac and cheese?"

PD: Whyyy no dahlin. Haaaaaaa haaaaaaaaa. Woooohooooooo HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA, This is southern. This is Chatham cheese and noodles. Just keep watchin' and ya'll will see...and be sure to pick up a couple of my son's and my new cookbooks...they're great for a gift for your freeinds and family."

Eating rat sh*t out of a garbage can on Abercorn Street sounds more appitizing than her recycled, ripped off recipes.

Im officially in mourning...

Fox News Reports,
Most NBA stars could have any woman they want, but Marko Jaric had to go and take Adriana Lima from single men everywhere.

The couple eloped in a small private ceremony on Valentines Day in Jackson Hole, Wyoming, according to a report in People magazine.

Lima, 27, is a Brazilian supermodel best known for her work as a Victoria’s Secret Angel. Jaric, 29, is a guard for the Minnesota Timberwolves.

“We are so excited about our future together,” Lima said. “And we are really looking forward to a big romantic wedding this summer with all our friends and family.”


I'm still confused how a Minnesota Timberwolf can score this chick. They don't even score on the hardwood. This is pretty much the sexiest woman on the planet with her mouth closed (her teeth are kinda jacked). I'm not saying I would sacrifice life and limb, well maybe I am, but I would pretty much let my penis bob for french fries in a deep fryer in exchange for 13 seconds with this girl.

What else do we have a right to?

This woman is delusional. Kudos to Fox for calling out her anti-capitalistic ideals, not to mention, her complete and undeniable stupidity. Acorn is socialism and wealth redistribution at its core definition.

Randy Gerber luckier than SEAL?

Cindy Crawford hasn't been drinking Pepsi and making penises explode in like a decade or so, but damn if she isn't stunning. This woman is defying every law of aging. If you can find a woman this hot pumping gas into a Bentley, you better chloroform her, hog tie her, duct tape her mouth, and take her to that shack in Montana occupied by the Unabomber. I'm not gonna speak for everyone, but I bet most men would sex Rosie Odonnell and Magic Johnson while on fire for a chance at Cindy Crawford.

It's like looking for Waldo.

I was one of the three people that actually didn't fall asleep with their mouth open last night from boredom. When Slumdog Millionaire won best picture, I couldn't help but wonder why Tiger Woods' family was on stage sharing in the excitement (Thanks Buffkin).

This is the best Timberlake can do?

I'm trying to figure out how this is considered one of the sexiest women in Hollywood. All I can do is scratch my head. Seriously, she looks like a claironet player...3rd chair. I'm so sick of being talked into finding women sexy. If this is the best that town has to offer, I know why movies are bringing in record low crowds.

1. They Suck.

2. There is no talent and no star quality.

If you're one that thinks this chick is gorgeous, you either live in North Dakota, Maine, Montana, or Jacksonville.

Seriously, find the relevance.

This picture is so boring, the only thing I can truly focus on is that golden statue in the background with no genitalia. The only reason Plainniston should ever be on TV or film again, would be if Friends had a reunion show where Rachel and Ross contract the Ebola virus and their organs liquify and are reduced to just a pool of liquid like Terminator 2 or the Wicked Witch of the West.

Beyonce's lip synch spectacular

Honestly, could the Oscars have been more uneventful. News sources are reporting that many of the Hollywood elite, whatever that means, "no showed" the most important event of the year. I can't blame them. Watching this liberal self indulgent love fest last night was about as painful as getting poked in the eye with hot syphilis needles. I would rather be eaten alive by mountain lions.

For some reason, producers of the Oscar ceremony wanted to ensure the lowest ratings in history, so they scheduled Fatonce to perform in some outfit that made her look like Jessica Rabbit with a weight problem. She performed as I expected...she didn't. She walked around moving her mouth, but to say she sang well would be misleading. I'm pretty sure david Blain and David Copperfield were involved with Fatonce's performance because at the beginning of the video, they somehow tricked the audience into thinking that the loud booming sounds as she was walking down the steps were drums and not her inner thighs clapping together. I know the real truth you sneaky magicians.

Chris Brown aka Jose Cuevas Jr, unanimous decision...2 rounds to 0.

CROWN POINT, Ind. — A Chicago man has been convicted of attacking his wife on their honeymoon in Indiana after she refused his demand for a specific sex act.

Jurors in Lake Superior Court in Crown Point deliberated about five hours Thursday before finding 35-year-old Jose Cuevas Jr. guilty of aggravated battery and battery. Cuevas faces up to 20 years in prison when he is sentenced March 16.

Cuevas was accused of holding Marbelin Jeronimo's head underwater in a hot tub in their room and biting flesh off her arm while they were staying at a Days Inn in Merrillville last May.

Authorities say Cuevas beat her and threw her around the room after she refused his demand for a sex act. Police say Jeronimo's face was severely battered and her eyes were swollen shut.

Cuevas had been charged earlier with attempted murder.


Damn yo! I thought Chris Brown was hard core. This dude makes Ike Turner look like Pope John Paul II. Homeboy unleashed the wrath after his wife refused a sex act...I'm no Sister Cleo or the Oracle at Delphi, but I bet I can guess what that was; but bro, holding your girls head under the water, biting her, and swelling bofe her eyes shut...that's just gangsta. What is it with the biting these days? I must have missed this day in self defense class. I just find it bazaar, biting, I mean. I guess it's like dogs hiking their leg on mailboxes, just an animal instinct to leave your mark. I dunno...and did I read he had previously been charged with attempted murder? WOW. How did she introduce this cat to her parents? I picture the scenario going something like this, "Mom Dad, this is Jose Cuevas Jr. He did 5 in Chino for attempted murder, but he's been rehabilitated and he loves me and we're getting married. We're gonna honeymoon at the Days INN in Merrillville...that place is so romantic. I'm so excited. It's exactly what I always dreamed about." At that point any self respecting and loving father would funnel three gallons of Drano, light himself afire and put his head in the oven while crying. Nonetheless, something tells me this one might not go the distance.

UNBEWEAVEABLE

KANSAS CITY, Mo. — Other than having a bit of a headache, a Kansas City woman was uninjured after a bullet fired at her ended up tangled in her hair weave. Police said the 20-year-old woman was in a convenience store parking lot late Wednesday when a man flagged her down and told her that her ex-boyfriend still loved her.

She replied, "Well I dont love him," then heard gunshots. She said she looked behind the vehicle and saw her ex-boyfriend firing a handgun at her. She stomped her accelerator and fled, then turned into another parking lot and called police.

She told officers she recently had ended an eight-month relationship with the suspect.

Police arrested the ex-boyfriend and his friend in a car.

Seriously, I think it's better for this one if I just don't leave commentary. There's more than enough to amuse yourself.