Playboy is on the pulse of the American male.

Drug makeover 2.0




Playboy has announced, typically for them, about four years after no one cares anymore, that Lindsay Lohan will pose nude for the dying, decrepid magazine. I'm not sure what guy would want to see Lindsay Lohan nude because that guy is most certainly not this guy. The rumor is, "She has spent three days posing for photgraphers and will leave nothing to the imagination." No shit. She's been doing that for anyone that has booze or cocaine for about four years now. She would get naked for a pack of Fun Dip or a Pixie Stick at this point. If you're some weirdo that would want to look at a vagina that resembled ground turkey with leprosy wounds, this issue of Playboy will be a consumer staple for you. I think I'll pass.

Lindsay Lohan gets 90 days in the clink

For getting two DUI's, testing positive for cocaine twice, and having a complete and total disregard for law and courts while violating the conditions of her probation, Lindsay Lohan got served today with a sentence of 90 days in jail to be followed by 90 days of inpatient drug and alcohol rehab. I almost felt sorry for her, but then I realized that Hollywood is filled with spoiled little shits that bend and break rules because they're wealthy. Then after further consideration, I realized that I couldn't be happier about this sentence, getting this selfish menace off the road, and sending a message to Hollywood A-Holes, unless Lucipher himself had come down to whisk her off for 90 days in the pits of hell. Enjoy jail Linsday.