Wednesday, April 14, 2010

The Algorithm of Kenny Chesney



+



+



+



=



In some recent interview, Kenny Chesney, bless his heart, tried to convince himself everyone that he is not gay. Mind you, that's pretty hard to do when your wife divorces you and sites, "Fraud" as the reason for your split. I guess he lives in denial because he thinks it will hurt his career, but I guess he hasn't read the memo because we ALL know. Here is the "his" explanation for the failure of his marriage to Renee Zelwhatever:

"I look at it as a box, my life as a box... so everything that I put in ... learning how to play guitar - put in that box, friends I made - I put in that box. My career grew and everything around me, all the awards and all the songs I wrote and all the success, everything, I put in that box. And that box grew to this wonderful house. You protect everything and all the relationships and all the people that helped you build that house... I protected that box and I didn't know if I could do both. She was a sweet soul, no doubt about it."

Time elapsed--4 hours.

I'm sorry...after he said BOX 23 times in two sentences, I blacked out. Kenny. Listen. We. All. Know. Box. Can. Also. Mean. Vag. You're such an enigma with your clever use of double entendre, but when you read between the lines, voila! Your metaphors are brilliant! I bet all Kenny's friends play a drinking game for every time he says box around them. (DRINK) Damn, I said box. (DRINK) Damn. I said it again. That darn Kenny Chesney.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Just found this in an image search for the cliche Kenny Chesney necklace. Awesome!