According to my extensive dialogue with women, they reveal to me that their bodies are never the same after having children. So, if that's true, if babies are hot body assassins, what kind of voodoo witchery is Penelope Cruz involved in? I've known Penelope Cruz since she ironically starred opposite Javier Bardem in the Spanish foreign language film Jamon Jamon. Essentially, for the last 19 years I've been a connoisseur of a naked Penelope Cruz and she's never looked better than she does right now. Some critics and feminists would say, "Is it only because her breasts are larger." To that insensitive inquiry, I would say, maybe. Probably. Most likely.
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