Sunday, October 3, 2010

Cobra McJingleballs...are you effing kidding me?


Justin Murdock, billionaire Dole Food heir and Hobbit Avril Lavigne's ex-boyfriend—faces a sexual harassment suit for calling an employee a "whore," telling her to suck his * & % $, and requiring her to start a Facebook account for him as "Cobra McJingleballs."

The 38-year-old billionaire has a reputation of being an A-Hole, and being a socialite with young people in Hollywood. Carissa, the former director of corporate development has accused Justin of the following:

* Forced her to open a Facebook account for him under the name "Cobra McJingleballs" and which was filled with graphic images including a minstrel-show actor in blackface and an old black-and-white photo of men dressed in Ku Klux Klan robes.
* Told her, "You look like a whore" and said, "What you need is a good pounding." Murdock also allegedly showed her a pornographic film and said, "You know you love it," told of his sexual exploits in graphic detail and simulated sex acts at meetings.
* Demanded she buy flights and hotel rooms for young "interns" he planned to feature in ads for NovaRx.
* Defined her job as being "under my desk [bleep]ing my [bleep.]"
* Threatened her life, saying, "If NovaRx fails, I'll put you at the bottom of the Pacific Ocean in concrete boots."

I gotta tell you...if these allegations were directed at anyone else, I would say he/she will have the book thrown at them; however, when you're a billionaire and you open a facebook account that reads Cobra McJingleballs, you might be the biggest bad ass on earth. I'm not trying to be insensitive, but sexual harassment does not exist for a guy like this. Death threats...whatever. This story is far and away the greatest thing I've read in 2010. It's essentially not even close.

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