If you're trying to win me back, it's not gonna work.

Many of you don't know this girl. I do because she's British, and I have this soft place in my heart loins for british women. Other than one of the hottest bodies you will ever see...ever...there's nothing she has to offer. So little in fact, she was engaged to marry Billy Zane. Billy Zane, really? Billy Zane may have survived the Titanic sinking, but his career surely didn't. How he scored this chick is more confusing than Stephen Hawkins' A Brief History of Time. I could explain quantum gravity and parallel universes easier than Kelly Brook playing hide the sausage with this clown. Sometimes inexplicable things in life just piss me off. Smoking hot girls with amazing natural breasts, British accents and low self esteems with Bill Zane is one of those times.