Wednesday, July 21, 2010

From Britney to our demise...


Forbes Magazine just released their top ten musician earners. This list almost drove me into the deepest crevices of depression. U2 was number one. I seriously don't know one single person that truly likes U2's music. I know people that appreciate their generous philanthropic nature, or in some cases that I'm ashamed, like their politics, but trust me, not their music. At this point, to me, they're like the Fat Elvis. Yeah, I guess they're still Elvis, but we're all tired of the act. You're not as original as you once were and more than anything, we're freaking sick of hearing you wail. T o matters worse though, Britney Spears finished #5. Yes, I'm serious.

No. 5: Britney Spears

$64 million

Not long ago, most of the entertainment world had written Britney Spears off as a celebrity flameout. But over the last year Spears logged the fifth highest-grossing tour in the world, bringing in $130 million in gross box office receipts by playing 98 dates. High-profile endorsement deals with Elizabeth Arden and Candies' prove that the public expects Spears to stay in the spotlight for good.

Are you effing kidding me. When I was in college, like 2000 years ago, I would've swum the English channel for a date with Britney Spears. Now, in 2010, I'm not even sure if I would know her if she walked past me, unless she were holding a turkey leg and we were in Wal-Mart. The fact that she made 64 million dollars lipsynching her entire concert makes me want to disembowel myself with a Swiss Army Knife. Our young people should not be allowed to vote in this country. You should have to pass a test. Our young people line up to see acts like Britney Spears and then stand in line to cast votes for Barack Obama. MTV has created a generation of "Rock the Vote(rs)" that have no clue about fiscal policy or Constitutional adherence. They just created a frenzy of voters that circle the person that celebrity idiots, musicians, and pop culture say they should. The two party system in this country will be its ultimate demise. Let's see...

Old as shit white guy war hero with absolutely no charisma

or

hip smooth talking black guy with no experience doing anything that smokes like a freightrain


Can I choose None of the Above?

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