Beyonce Has Bigger Legs Than I Do.

There is really nothing I can say positive about this woman. In fact, with all sarcasm and hyperbole aside, I would rather nail my privates to a board while I practice self immolation, than be subjected to this God forsaken commercial one more time. I sat here for thirty minutes trying to think of one thing that could be more ridiculous or appalling than her Direct TV upgrading proposal, but I'm still at a loss for words. The fact that she's rich and I'm not, makes me think God is making a stand up comedy routine of my life. I'm not laughing.