Saturday, March 28, 2009

He's not famous enough to beat up hookers.




Shamwow/Slapchop infomaster has been a naughty boy it appears. These are two of the best mug shots of all time. His picture looks like he's been held captive without food or water for six months by the Taliban, while the look on her face reveals a quiet confidence and overall sense of accomplishment...almost like, "Yeah Bitch." According to the Smokingun.com, Shlomi, 44, was arrested last month on a felony battery charge following a violent confrontation with a prostitute in his South Beach hotel room. According to an arrest affidavit, Shlomi met Sasha Harris, 26, at a Miami Beach nightclub on February 7 and subsequently retired with her to his $750 room at the lavish Setai hotel. Shlomi told cops he paid Harris about $1000 in cash after she "propositioned him for straight sex." Shlomi said that when he kissed Harris, she suddenly "bit his tongue and would not let go." Shlomi then punched Harris several times until she released his tongue. The affidavit, a copy of which you'll find here, notes that during the 4 AM fight Harris sustained facial fractures and lacerations all over her face (she is pictured here in mug shots snapped following busts in 2008 and 2005). After freeing his tongue, a bleeding Shlomi ran to the Setai lobby, where security summoned cops. Harris refused to cooperate with officers, who recovered $930 from her purse. "Both parties had a strong odor of an alcoholic beverage emitting from their persons," police reported. In a brief telephone interview, Harris declined to answer TSG questions about her run-in with Shlomi, though she did say she is considering a lawsuit against the pitchman. Asked if she worked as a hooker, Harris declined comment. As seen in the below mug shot, Shlomi was also injured during the fracas and, court records show, was treated at Mount Sinai Medical Center. While Shlomi and Harris were both arrested for felony aggravated battery, prosecutors this month declined to file formal charges against the combatants. Police records list Shlomi's occupation as "Marketing," but make no mention of his affiliation with the ShamWow or the Slap Chop, both of which sell for $19.95 (plus shipping and handling).

Slapchopping a hooker for biting seems a little out of line. Isn't that kind if what you signed up for? I'm quite positive sales of the slapchop will increase, but as for that Sham-wow...well, that product is just doomed. If that super absorbent towel can't get the blood off of his face, how do they expect me to believe that it'll dry a spilled soda. Dammit, I knew they were liars.

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