Famous celebrity photographer, Russell James, recently drugged Heidi Klum, among other supermodels, stripped them down, got them dirty, got them wet...hold on(BRB)......regains breath......ok, and took their pictures for his new book and all I can think of is how much I hate Russell James. If I had known that straight people could photograph supermodels, I would've certainly been a professional supermodel photographer. What the hell were my guidance counselors doing? Why weren't they directing me toward my God given gifts and abilities. That's what happens when you grow up in a small town. Fashion magazines and Sport Illustrated swim suit issues were just figments of my community's imagination. Dammit, I should've branched out. Getting paid for watching models like Heidi strip down and roll around in the sand seems a little less like work and little more like a honeymoon in Maldives. I'm probably only going to leave this post up a few days for fear that everytime I access the page and see these pics, I'm going to black out, only to found I've awoken in a pool of my own sweat with my jeans shredded and bloody, like I've been simultaneously attacked by a pack of rabid starving wolverines and a werewolf.
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