When you have luscious lips(injected with Juvederm), hair kissed by the sun(bleached with red/blonde #26C), and skin like a Giesha(completely frozen with Botox and absent of all melanin), you know you've arrived as a leading lady in Hollywood. I swear, the more I'm force fed unattractive, untalented people in Hollywood, the more I wanna burn down that huge white sign in the Hollywood Hills. Honestly, if you replaced the ten highest grossing male and female actresses with random attractive people off the streets, in most cases, you'd never know the difference. These narcissists show up at work and recite lines. If they screw up, they scream and blame someone else that makes much less than they do and then the director gives them countless takes to get it right while he kisses their asses for 7 months of filming. Aside from long hours comfortably waiting in a pimped out tour bus between call times, reciting unmemorized lines someone else with talent wrote, and making millions upon millions to do it while you bitch about it like a child, acting is super hard work. In fact, it's as hard as being a roughneck oil field driller, a coalminer, and a crabber in the Bering Sea. I hate people. Especially these people. The point of this whole tirade was to point out the utter perfection and beauty that is Nicole Kidman. When you're this beautiful, you obviously made some deal with the devil. Kidman is like the modern day Dorian Gray. If you held a mirror in front of her face, you'd see the skeletal remains of what used to be a real red headed, pale skinned human being. If Rosie "Sea Donkey" O'Donell and this monster were lying naked in my bed and I were forced to sleep with one of them, I would strip naked without hesitation and dive head first into Rosie's jugs with my mouth wide open.
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