In news that didn't even surprise Jennifer Aniston or her own father, Chestica Simpson got dumped by Tony Romo over the weekend. If you had red hot iron pokers stuck through your eye balls and scorching your retinas, you could've still seen this coming from 3.6 miles away. For those of you that are dumber than bricks, Tony Romo is the quarterback for the Dallas Cowboys. When you QB in the NFL, much less the Cowboys, getting laid becomes a burden...girls waiting for you at your hotel, girls waiting for you at the practice facility, girls waiting on you at your car, girls waiting for you outside your house, girls, girls, girls. I can relate and trust me...it sucks. Following that same parallel, I understand why Romo chose Chestica. Settling down with Jessica Simpson is actually a great move. She's so shockingly insecure that you can almost get away with anything. Couple that with one of the best bodies in the history of the human race, a pretty face, business acumen, a great rack (worth mentioning again), and one of the most endearing "airhead acts" ever played and you've got almost the perfect girl. A guy like Romo doesn't want to be controlled...she won't. He's wants a sex machine...HELLOOO? He wants a celebrity...she's one. He wants his girl to be envied...she is. It's really pretty simple. The sad part of this whole story though is Simpson. When you have the genetic gifts and marketability that she does, it's nearly impossible to eff it up, yet she succeeds over and over again. She's basically the saboteur of her own success. She's like the least talented, most successful, least qualified, most famous, celebrity ever. She's like a walking juxtaposition. It's quite an enigma. Verbally pinpointing the demise of the relationship would be as pointless as printing headlines that read, "Insiders say Michael Jackson was gay." It's obviously her creepy and medling father. No person on Earth can ruin your career or life faster than Joe Simpson. If you have an arch nemesis and you want his/her life destroyed, call Joe. Joe Simpson is like the youth baseball dad or the pageant mom that relives their dreams through their children. Except for the fact that Jessica is nearly 30. The sun is going down on her days of landing high profile athletes and celebrities based on her good looks and firm breasts. 30 years of hard wear and tear on those fun bags and soon the warranty's expired and the best she'll land is Larry, the night manager at Sears Home and Garden Center.
No comments:
Post a Comment