Tuesday, my arch nemesis, lip synched the National Anthem. Generally, I would say, "no big deal," but this is the freaking Presidential Inauguration. Also, the other small insignificant point is, Beyonce is a singer and an alleged good one. Kelly Clarkson is from American Idol and she crushed My Country Tis of Thee better than I did every morning in Kindergarten. Besides Beyonce's appalling self-absorption and disconnection with anything normal, rational, or humble, her stupid vocal gymnastics assisted by computer tracks and clever producing, her entire contrived existence, fake hair, hideous fire-starting cheese-covered thunder thighs, and last but certainly not least, horrible Direct TV commercials, I feel like she also thinks I'm stupid. Well, I'm not. Fine Beyonce, lip synch the song if you're too scared to do what the winner of a Reality TV talent show did, but don't sing the first verse and pull out your ear piece like you're struggling to find the key because, well, you're not freakin' singing. When stars get embarrassed because of their own arrogance and stupidity it makes me feel as if there's some sense of fairness in the world. It's not enough she makes 70 million a year, but she marries a billionaire. All BS aside, I would rather have sex with a razor blade radiated light socket than Beyonce Knowles. The fact that she and Chris Brown are famous is how I know with absolute certainty that Satan is real.
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