Reasons to hate 2012...and thankfully say goodbye to it

Every year, in January, I look back throughout the year to remind me how miserably stupid people are in this world.  To me, there is no better way to identify stupidity than by analyzing the year's social cliches and/or FADS.  Here are a few examples of why I never want to hear the number 2012 again:

Let me guess.  You're also a rock climber...in a gym.  If you climb fiberglass in a gym, you're as much of a rock climber as making a paper airplane makes you a pilot.  People are so stupid.  Do you expect to fall down a crevasse on your way to the thirty foot summit of Atlanta Rock Climbing.  Wearing these stupid bracelets aren't gonna give you the boost in testosterone you're looking for buddy.  

This game made these clowns millions.  I remember watching this same concept on TV when I was little.  It was called Win Lose or Draw...or Pictionary.  It was fun for like three minutes, but thank God it's over.  I'm so sick of guessing the drawings of morons with zero concept of how something should look.  So, you drew a yellow square with small squares inside it and that's a hospital?  Is it on fire?  You're stupid.

    

Yeah, we get it, you're computer savvy.  All we've established is that someone more clever than you made an E-Card and you're skillful enough to share it on your incredibly boring and uninspiring Facebook wall.  Don't look at, you say...well I wouldn't except you post 24/7 about how good your dinner was and how much everyone at your job sucks and how much you hate drama, yet every post you make is completely full of drama.  You suck, so do your stupid E-cards.  Unfriend.  Block.   

Mayans.  Do I really need to say more.  If you made one preparation for the end of the world based on some Mayan (who are they) calendar, you should wear a sign on your neck that can caution others of your stupidity.  Holy Shit.  Mayans.   

"Yeah, can I have a dozen of the overpriced, over processed, sugar bombs?" Only 6.00 a piece?!?  How can that be???  That's a great deal.  These are soooooo good.  I always get these before my tennis match.  I'm gonna get a few extra ones though because I have to go home and get ready to meet the girls for lunch.  Then I have to exchange some things at the mall where we always get a quad grande peppermint mocha whipped non fat w two splendas, one organic milk skinny im pretentiously stupid coffee from Starbucks.  Then, I have to pick up the kids.  How I'm gonna have time for all this is insane.  It's gonna be exhausting.  I need something sweet!  Heres a 2 twenties, keep the change! 

I literally couldn't tell you one thing about this stupid farce except for the fact that liberals went ape shit over this.  Newsflash: Africa has leaders that practice genocide everyday.  Your Prius and recycling doesn't stop that, nor does some stupid YouTube video about a fictitious murderer.  If you would get your head out of your ass and read a meaningful news source, you might learn something.  Until then, PLEASE STFU.  

Oh boy!  One of my favorite things of 2012.  This stupid website exploded because girls are so full of estrogen they can hardly function.  Following a 32 step process on how to antique your coffee table doesn't make you creative, it makes you obsessed.  The table was hideous before...now it's just a different color.  I've looked at this website less than 10 times in my life, yet every time I do, I'm reminded of how vast the chasm is between men and women.  I'd rather watch midget porn than this bullshit for thirty seconds.  

Who is the F is Tom and why are his hideous shoes so popular.  He better enjoy it because when people besides me start realizing how ugly they are and how badly they smell, his business is over.  Yeah, I know, they're soooo comfortable.  So are my flip flops from Wal Mart, but they didn't cost 50 dollars.  And don't tell me about how one pair is donated to Africa.  If you want to make a difference in Africa, quit worrying about the damn shoes and worry about what matters, Malaria.  A little kid without shoes isn't killing anyone.  Mosquitos and AIDS, those are the killers.  Want to "GIVE BACK" (whatever the hell that means), buy some mosquito nets and send them over...send some books on safe sex.  Your dedication to helping third world countries through support of first world over priced products is so hypocritical I want to punch you in the face.      

You only live once.  Tell that to the rapper, Ervin McKinness,

 that was tweeting and bragging about drinking and driving.  He ended his tweet with #YOLO and flipped his car a few minutes later ending his life.  Yeah, YOLO for sure.  

I read the first two chapters of the P.O.S. and I realized how miserable women are in this country.  Nothing in the history of the written word has been more amateurish and poorly written.  I could've written this book in the 9th grade.  If I had known that many women hated their husbands I could've been so damn rich.  Based on the success of this book, I'm surprised women don't shake hands with attractive men at dinner parties and have orgasms...and we're the horny ones.  Yeah, sure.      

Pocahontas wore feathers, allegedly.  You're not Pocahontas.  Wearing this shit in your hair doesn't make you more Bohemian.  It doesn't make you edgy, any more than drinking diet cokes makes you skinny.  Take it out.  Welcome to adulthood and responsibility.    

Unless it's 152 AD and you're on a date with Maximus Decimus Meridius, those shoes are ridiculous.  I understand Avant Garde fashion as much as one possibly can, but come on.  It's leather from the feet to the knee.  That screams, "Look at me, please!"  That level of desperation is palpable.    

2013- Now you're just somebody that I used to know...thank God. 

This is a two part eff you/thank you.  You can thank Pinterest for this FAD.  It's essentially the Lee Press on Nails of the 80's.  When you're 25+ and you put snowflakes on your nails, you probably are taking pictures of them and posting them to your Instagram, reading 50 Shades of Gray after updating your Pinterest.  FML

Installing an app on your iPhone doesn't make you an artist.  Just because you take a picture of something completely normal and turn it into something spectacular doesn't mean you're a Warhol visionary, it simply means you have no life.  Most people don't have time to send a picture through the laundry list of special effects in order to spice up there vanilla existence.  Accept your picture for what it is...boring.  And please, stop making that stupid "Duck Face" while giving the sideways peace sign.  You're white as shit and you have no criminal record.  You're the antithesis of street cred.