Creepiest story ever...imagine it stemming from Florida.

I have, through unfortunate circumstances, called northern Florida my long term temporary residence for the last 7 years. Florida, it seems, is a mecca for mass murderers, rapist, drug running, and every other appalling crime in the US. Never though in the history of Florida crimes has there been something so bazaar as this. In fact, in order for this story to be more creepy and Florida"esque" there would have to be a twister mat, wine coolers, now-n-laters, grape jelly, and a wood grain station wagon. Hell, even then, it's not weirder, just differently accessorized.

One more ting...why do cops have such a hard time finding sex offenders. Either I have an expert eye, or they all look almost exactly the same. It's like picking out a one armed one legged man in a police line up.

FEBRUARY 5--A Florida man was arrested yesterday after he was spotted fondling and making out with a pair of blow-up dolls in a supermarket parking lot. Shoppers called cops when they spotted George Bartusek, 51, getting busy in the front seat of his 1998 Lincoln Town Car, which was parked directly in front of a Publix store. Evidence photos (seen below and here) showing Bartusek's inanimate partners were provided to TSG by the Cape Coral Police Department. According to a police report, witnesses told cops that Bartusek was "performing activity to two different blow up dolls in his vehicle that was consistent with masturbation and other simulated sexual activity." He was also spotted "aggressively" kissing the dolls. When confronted by police, Bartusek said that he was headed to Target to "get some clothes for his dolls." Bartusek, charged with breach of peace, was wearing shorts with a three-inch opening "in the crotch area." Of course, he "had no underwear on under the shorts," noted police.

Nix, Cape Coral, you must be so proud. I knew your "Nixapalooza Ricky" was weird.