I couldn't decide which story to blog about Jessica Simpson, so I decided to do both because this is simply too good to pass up.
The National Enquirer reports:
The Dukes of Hazzard stunner (19 years ago) is so thrilled over the prospect of becoming a mom, she’s started “eating for two,” say insiders.
“It looks like Jessica’s dream of having a baby is finally coming true,” a close friend told The ENQUIRER.
“She’s crazy in love with Eric – so they’ve decided to make a baby.”
Who is Eric? He's a jobless, Wharton business school dropout, former mediocre NFL tight end, and leach on her massive fortune. Aside from that though, he's a great guy. What's not to love about that guy? I guess if eating is indicative of being happy, she's freaking ecstatic. If it's indicative of being sad, someone better call 911 because she's standing out on some ledge right now. Granted this story is from the Enquirer, but if she is so happy she's gonna have a baby and has already started eating for two, she's actually not only psycho, but the dumbest person on the face of the Earth. I don't even think she's smart enough to have human interactions, to be honest. If she were my girlfriend, I would take her to the zoo and make her sit with me in the monkey and gorilla exhibit. I would tell her how science has proven that smart humans have an innate ability to communicate with primates. Then I would just watch her like a science project. Spending one day with her would be my wish if I rubbed a lamp or God forbid, got a wish from the Make-a-Wish Foundation.
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