I must've missed something...

Last night I decided to be the only person out of college to watch portions of the MTV Video Music Awards. Nothing, however, can bring back the four minutes Taylor Swift stole from me. I know she was trying to be all "grown up" and create something dramatic surrounding her whole Kanye quarrel, but it failed miserably. Nothing about it worked. Her hair would've worked had Mae West been in the audience, but she wasn't, since she was a star 80 years ago. The song was horrific. I love country music. I even like her music, but that song was shit. The lyrics sound like something written by kid and a clown named Toof-Pik on children's night at Chick-Fil-A, but that's not the worst part. If I had a midget bite onto my testicles and hang there while I sang that song, i think I could hit more notes than she did. This chick can barely sing. Girls are gonna kill me for this, but if they were honest with themselves, the only reason they like her is because all she sings about is stories that evoke school girl memories of "crushing love" or fairy tale love stories. In either case, it's poetry ignited by estrogen. The irony of her relationship with Kanye is that neither can carry a tune without either the help of a studio sound board in Taylor's case, or one of those computer synthesizers in Kanye's. I want to like her because she seems either really sweet or just too dumb to be mean. I want to like her, but this horrific song makes it tough. It's like the juxtaposition of watching Jessica Alba act. From now on, if she knows what's good for both her career and my ears, she should take a page out of Britney's book and pre-record a track or two.