Swimsuit inventor undoubtedly had Kelly in mind.

Many of you that don't obsess, hanker, and thirst for female celebrities like I do, might not know Kelly Brook. Too bad for you is all I have to say. If you haven't been introduced, people, this is Kelly Ann Parsons Brook. She, too, is an abysmal actress, starring only in movies that require her to minimalize her clothing's coverage area; moreover, she's dated actor Jason Statham and was engaged to Billy Zane, the creepy guy from Dead Calm and Titanic, for nearly five years. Really, all of this is completely pointless because if you're a straight guy, there's absolutely no way you looked at the pictures above and were able to concentrate on anything else besides how perfectly her body was designed to fit into swimsuits. Seriously, Gary and Wyatt from Weird Science, couldn't have manufactured Lisa to be more punishingly desirable to people of the opposite sex than this girl. Once again, I'm reminded how much I loathe European football players and their ability to steal my potential future ex-girlfriends.