I'm Back...

Im gonna take this opportunity to apologize for not having many posts during the last week. I have been detained in South Florida for sales training if you can believe that. It almost seems presumptuous to think someone actually missed my witty commentary, but then again, it's no more narcissitic than Twittering ten times a day as if someone cares about your pitiful life. Anyway, to my new friends, thanks for the liver damage and the good laughs. You guys are the best. To G, thanks for the rides. You're a bad ass van driver. To Brittany, no one in their first trimester can pour beer quite like you. To Blue at Muggs and Juggs, You're my boy blue. To the hooker at the Residence Inn, here's to hoping you hit the lottery...you're gonna need all the help you can get girl. Thanks to Tim, I'm going to make some amendments and include the most amazing Shell Gas Station employee of all time. If there was a Hall of Fame for hourly wage earners, this "person" would be a first ballot inductee. To Heath, Heether, Heather, Pat, ambiguously gendered, bearded lady, Chuck Norris(Beard), this Bud's for you gal...I mean bud...I mean...this beer's for you dude. You've enlightened me as to how effed up people can really get when you make a career of poor life decisions. Thanks again guys for everything...and Tim...thanks for the reminder of something I should be killed for forgetting. I've never been more disappointed in myself.